Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com) – A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman claimed she had become pregnant while watching a 3-D porno movie.
The child’s equally surprised father James Francis, a soldier who had been away for a year serving on a military base in Afghanistan, found the black baby at home when his unit cycled back to Fort Bragg in late October.
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“Hell yeah I was surprised when I walked through the door,” “says Francis who describes himself as a cool guy with a great sense of humor. “I thought it was just another practical joke like when I came back from Iraq in 2004 and my wife said she had AIDS and we couldn’t have sex.”
His wife Jennifer, age 38, told him the baby had been conceived while she had been watching a 3-D porno film in a local theater.
“I see no reason not to believe her as those 3-D movies are very lifelike these days. I mean, with the technology today, anything is possible,” said Sgt. Francis who registered the baby as his with local county officials.
Sgt. Francis said a name for the little boy was ‘still up in the air’ and they have considered ‘Howard’ or possibly ‘BankShot’.
Jennifer said she had gone to a porno cinema in New York City with her girl friends. She had only gone to see how a porno movie looked in 3-D. The child, she claimed, looked exactly like the black male lead in the film.
“A month after the movie I knew I was pregnant. I am going to sue the cinema and producers. Luckily, my husband believes me. It could have wrecked our marriage, but he knows I’m faithful to him.”
Her husband thinks she sat way too close to the screen and wants theater management to post warning signs in the future.
Why did i know they were american before i read they were american ?
The next jesus on. 3D lol
It's a joke. Not a real story.
That hairline though
He really is a dumb a$$ 3D sperm gets her pregnant…. Did she have her pants off and legs open at the time too.
Its scary that someone could be that stupid.
are they kidding, is this a joke, is this for real, PLEASE BE A JOKE. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID THIS MAN IS.
That's not the picture of the couple! I seen this article before they took some random couple picture off God knows where, because all the other sites had the same picture of the chick & she was NOT OBESE! But was to the chubby side. They didn't show her husband just her holding her half black child.
Harrumph! You mama so nasty the tics bite her and get Lymes disease and drop dead.
Oh yeah! Well, yo momma so ugly even the Elephant Man paid to see her!
Wow! I was away too long and can't believe I didn't get in on this.
He’s such a lucky SOB that it is probably Kelly Ripa which would send me into fits of jealous rage.
Oh, before I forget, yo mama so nasty the cockroaches boycott her house.
Rfreed..you are mesmerized by that photo. So, maybe you need an explanation as to what’s its all about.
OK, I’ll confess that’s a wedding photo (circa 1979) of Mr. and Mrs. Kilroy taken outside of Fort Knox, Kentucky just days before the unfortunate accident that claimed Tina (the 16 year old girl bride in the photo).
Kilroy was driving Tina along highway 31W to get her to a local veterinarian for her monthly worming and anal detoxification, when a 65 ton army tank ran a light and careened over their VW bug.
Tina was seriously injured as well as most of the tank crew who were taken to Ireland Army Hospital for severe vomiting fits after seeing Tina without her wig….Yes, Mrs. Kilroy is entirely bald!
After spending six months in a body splint, Tina left the hospital and unexpectently found Kilroy at home in bed with a well-known future talk show star who happened to hook-up with Kilroy at the First-Chance Last-Chance Saloon.
Can anyone guess who the ‘other woman’ is?
This has to be a spoof picture. The ‘woman’ in the dress looks like a guy in drag. I hope for God’s sake she/he is.
Yo mama so old she have to tie her boobs around her back when she walks ’cause the police consider them deadly weapons when they bob around so much.
Hmmmmmm….Yo momma so old, she squirts powdered milk out of her nipples!
Yo’ mama so fat if she jumps up and down while she walks she’s a one woman drum corp.
Hmmmmmmm..Yo momma so ugly they filmed ‘Gorillas in tne Mist’ in her shower!
Also, could someone please change that picture with this story so I don’t see it every time I come to this site?
I can only be so strong…
Yo mama so dumb she put her head in the toilet to poop.
Oh yeah….Well, yo mamma so ugly she had to trick or treat by phone!
Yo mama so smelly it melts the Limburger cheese when she eats is.
Yo’ momma so old the key on Ben Franklin’s kite was the key to her apartm,ent
Yo’ mama so ugly all the mirrors in her house beg to be covered up.
Five-four-three-two-one…..Why, yo momma so fat when she sit on a nickel a booger shoots outta George Washingtons nose!
God, Bargis, don’t write about yo’ Mama like that!
(Expect a barrage of ‘Yo’ Mama’ jokes to hit the Comment section starting about 6 1/2 minutes after this posting.)
RFreed dated her shortly before running for Dick Tator. He once said she was a ‘hellava woman’ and knew how to ‘nasty quite well’. I think it was his political downfall myself…Poor guy was never quite the same after that. You know, the bad limp from a withered limb and those God-awful sores all over his body. Noxema seemed to help, but finally settled on a full body derma-brasion.
Quite the chipper lad now and the limp is barely noticeable!
Now THAT is a lovely couple. They look so happy and shiny.