Jon Stewart Pays to Make ‘Man Whore’ Rumors Go Away

NEW YORK (GlossyNews) — Jon Stewart is allegedly being blackmailed by one of The Daily Show’s employees over allegations that in the 90’s, Stewart was a man whore. The information about this closely guarded secret came to light when the employee was asked to dig up some information about Stewart’s “date” with Jennifer Anniston over ten years ago in New York City. Anniston was recently a guest on Stewart’s show and the date came up in conversation.

Details are sketchy about just what information this employee uncovered, but suffice it to say that if the story got out in its entirety, it would blow the lid off of Stewart’s “nice married guy with kid” façade. “The man dated everything in a skirt,” claims the unidentified source. “Don’t you believe that ‘nice Jewish boy’ spiel he gives everyone.”

The source claims that from an early age of 13, while spending summers on the Jersey Shore, Stewart had his hand in the cookie jar more than once. “What Stewart did in his teen years would make the cast from American Pie look like a bunch of choirboys.”

Jon Stewart’s attorneys are said to be negotiating a deal with the employee to pay her handsomely to go away quietly, but she insists she wants to keep her job. “I’m just getting used to being on camera more and I really like my gig at The Daily Show,” she said. “I’m sure with the right money and the right frame of mind, everyone can come out of this a winner. Oh, and no one has to know that Jon Stewart once dated Cameron Diaz and Angelina Jolie as well.”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

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