Magician Makes Rape Charges Disappear

Bellevue, WA (GlossyNews) — Mega-famous showman and Illusionist Oliver Twist has done it again. Known for both traditional stage magic and his signature landmark disappearance performances, Twist this week displayed his mastery of the craft by making a Civil Suit vanish.

The case had been filed in 2007 by Judy Joy, a Seattle area actress/ singer/ waitress/ model/ barista. Ms. Joy alleged that Twist lured her to his private island under false pretenses, where she was held against her will and forced to perform tricks of a decidedly non-theatrical nature.

Ms. Joy’s claims garnered a lot of publicity when announced, but headlines quickly moved elsewhere. The charges had little effect on Twist’s enormous popularity, and his Vegas shows remained sold out months in advance. Meanwhile, the legal case slowly ground its way through the system with motions and depositions.

All that changed when the suit reached the 6th Circuit and Judge Roy Bean. Bean, an avid student of cinema, noted something strangely familiar about the original filing documents. Speaking informally to reporters after dismissing the case, Judge Bean gave details about his initial suspicions. “Well, the more I read, the more it sounded like a cross between ‘White Zombie’ and ‘Island of Dr. Moreau’ and I kept thinking the whole thing would’ve made a great Val Lewton film. It was impossible to take seriously.”

In his dismissal ruling, Judge Bean held the case had no supporting evidence and rested on the plaintiff’s credibility alone. Further, a visible pattern of similar claims lent insufficient weight to Ms. Joy’s credibility for the case to proceed further.

Like all magicians, Mr. Twist was unwilling to discuss any details of this latest trick. Others in the close-knit though professional jealous magic community were quick to voice admiration for the man known as ‘Big O’ among Illusionists.

Fellow Vegas performers Penn & Tiller were most complimentary. “He just keeps getting better. When I think of the time he spent setting up this trick, finding the perfect assistant in that gold digger bimbo, makes my head spin, especially since everybody knows he’s gay,” said the tall one who talks.

Author: Liberties-Taken

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.

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