Category: The Rest
Carnival Triumph Finally Docks, Alabama Governor To Turn It Into Tourist Attraction
The end has finally come for the unfortunate passengers on the Carnival Triumph. The ship has finally reached dock and they are slowly emerging into a somewhat civilized world. Alabama Gov. Bentley has made a statement regarding the ships arrival….
Hagel Vote On Hold, McCain Delirious
The confirmation vote of Senator Chuck Hagel for Secretary Of Defense was held up today due to the inability of the senate to reach the 60 votes needed to end debate and move to the actual vote. Delays were caused…
Dorner’s Body Identified, Satan Up One
The burned body of fugitive Christopher Dorner was identified late this afternoon as the charred remains that were pulled from the burned cabin in which police believed they had him surrounded on Tuesday afternoon. While the method of identification has…
American Airlines + US Airways = Oh Crap
A merger was announced this morning between American Airlines and US Airways. This has been a long expected outcome for both corporations. Many are surprised that the merger has taken so long, but then again, delays in the airline industry…
Olympic Athlete Can’t Run From Charges
Well respected olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius was charged this morning with murder in the shooting death of his model girl friend. Police report that there is a history of abuse in their relationship and are relieved that this is probably…
Glossy News 2013 Predictions: It’s going to snow a lot… somewhere… eventually
Every year since Glossy News first started publishing during the Truman Administration, we have made bold predictions about the year ahead – in politics, world affairs, pop culture and advances in cutlery. Our staff possesses an uncanny ability to peer…
The Nightmare of Living in America’s Friendliest Town
You might think living in America’s friendliest town must be a fairy tale. Au contraire. It’s a living Hell. Forbes Magazine just came out with its ranking of the Friendliest Towns in America. Coming in at the #1 spot on…
Don’t Let Your Dishwasher Destroy Your Marriage
If you’re like my wife, then after you’ve been married for about two years, you probably realize your decision to get married was a serious mistake. Marriage is difficult, especially if your husband is a humor writer or you have…
Marriage Tip: When Black Friday Shopping, Avoid Impulse Purchases
It started out innocently enough. My wife asked me to go to Costco because we were low on shampoo. Perhaps I should not have gone on Black Friday, when Costco had everything on sale. The second I breached the entrance…
Reason 17 I’m Voting Romney: I Like His Hair
GlossyNews.com – [Note from the Staff of Glossy News: We proofread the author Tim Jones’ rant below about why he’s switching his vote from Obama to Romney. We uncovered a few minor errors in his analysis and felt compelled to…