Archive | Opinon/Editorial

A Mini Manifesto

A Mini Manifesto

In the first blog post I ever published on Jonathan Arts & Critique, I said:

I am:

Pro peace, not merely anti war.

Pro privacy, not merely anti state voyeurism.

Pro speech, not merely anti censorship.

Pro capitalism, not merely anti far left. Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Unelectable: A History of Jeremy Corbyn at the Polls

Unelectable: A History of Jeremy Corbyn at the Polls

You won’t hear any protests from me when you call Jeremy Corbyn unelectable. What a joke the man is. He can’t afford a nice suit, and didn’t even have the decency to look flustered when asked to publish his tax return. What kind of politician is that?

That said, being skeptics, we like all that evidence and stuff. So I thought I would see if there is any evidence as to whether Jeremy is electable or not. Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

If You Don’t Support Hillary, You’re a Bigot!

If You Don’t Support Hillary, You’re a Bigot!

I’m sick of all these privileged bigots who are demeaning and denigrating Hillary. So I am here to educate you on why you MUST stop this. Here are the ignorant fools who need to check their privilege.

1. Iraqi orphans

Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

Yorkshire Icepick Weekend: 6 Interesting Things I Learned from the Hyde Park Trots

Yorkshire Icepick Weekend: 6 Interesting Things I Learned from the Hyde Park Trots

Here are several hilarious scientific-socialite shitticisms I learned not so long ago from the Hyde Park Radical Hipster Kool-Aid Community of Yorkshire.

(By the way, before you ask, yes: they were all bitter, middle aged white boys with a massive, ice-pick-flavored vanilla-chip on their shoulder): Continue Reading

Posted in Entertainment, Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

Derailing & Fallacies Masterclass: Graduate from Yahoo Answers to Topix!

Derailing & Fallacies Masterclass: Graduate from Yahoo Answers to Topix!

Pol Pot’s Pleasure PWNK

I can’t stand Pol Pot because he’s really nasty. I don’t think he is my leader.

OMG!!!

Yeah but isn’t his adversary Ho Chi Minh nasty too? Would you protest if Ho Chi Minh was in power instead? Continue Reading

Posted in Education, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

Ireland: Reproductive Agency is One Thing, Intrusive Meddling is Another!

Ireland: Reproductive Agency is One Thing, Intrusive Meddling is Another!

Some may feel yesterday’s piece on Amnesty International, abortion, and Ireland is flippant. I can certainly see why people might think that; but I am 100% unapologetic. However, I will now speak in a less polemical and satirical manner, and weaponize a more prosaic tone against Big Human Rights.

It might seem churlish to sneer at the ‘humanitarian interventionism’ Amnesty International is perpetrating against Irish people of all identities. ‘After all,’ some might say, ‘Isn’t your postcolonial angle a minor distraction from the most important thing, which is the rights of women, and the necessity to reform the laws in a direction that respects women’s bodily autonomy and right to reproductive agency?’ Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Dear England: You Can Support Abortion Availability Without Being An Imperialist

Dear England: You Can Support Abortion Availability Without Being An Imperialist

Amnesty International has tried to save more people from ourselves (this time, Irish people), with its campaigning on Ireland’s abortion laws.

Of course, the situation for women in Ireland, north or south, is not perfect. But there is no excuse whatsoever for taking up the white man’s burden against Ireland; no matter how just or unjust the laws may be in Ireland, whether North or South.

No one need deny that the question of how to ensure more freedom and equality for women is an important issue in any country. Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary0 Comments

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

2020 Vision: UK Election Prediction

Time to look back at an old piece of mine, and think about whether it’s just all about ‘way back then.’

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201505110348/london-riots-who-are-the-real-orwellians/

In scenes mirroring the previous general election, raving hordes of self-righteous middle-class career decents have taken to the streets to protest the “Orwellian” hung parliament. Apparently the number of people who were eligible to vote, and who didn’t, is in the ten percents, at least! Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

Speaking Truth to Power: The Intercept is Defending Boehmermann’s Freedom with Full Consistency

In the past, I have been heavily critical of The Intercept, and of Glenn Greenwald’s stance on the Charlie Hebdo martyrs. However, I have noticed a pattern developing recently.

First of all, upon the renewal of the fatwa against Salman Rushdie (essentially a glorified hitman contract from God!), The Intercept did not blame Rushdie for ‘provoking’ his critics. Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Saving them from Themselves… What, you think They’re Animals or What?!

Saving them from Themselves… What, you think They’re Animals or What?!

Could it be that anti-foxhunting ideologues are the interspecies equivalent of Amnesty International and IntCom? Are they complacently presenting themselves as ‘speaking up for those who don’t have a voice?’ ;) The lessons of Gayatri Spivak’s essay ‘Can the Subaltern Speak?’ are lost on them.

Animals cannot speak for themselves; but even if they could, would their self-appointed defenders allow them to speak anyway? Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Inclusion Humor (II): ‘Hey, Can I Celebrate Your Diversity?’ Uh, no… Please Don’t!

Inclusion Humor (II): ‘Hey, Can I Celebrate Your Diversity?’ Uh, no… Please Don’t!

There is a ‘text’ and a ‘subtext’ so ubiquitous now, I feel it would be very unhelpful to attribute it to any one person. I do not wish to blame any one individual, or any number of individuals; clearly, the problem is a very ‘deep’ and ‘structural’ one, rather than being a question of a few people holding a niche view.

The prevailing notion is:

Neurodiversity is great and should be celebrated; what a dull world it would be, if there were no neurodiversity.

OK. How about these ones: Continue Reading

Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

A Vatican Rockstar Who Pulls No Punches

A Vatican Rockstar Who Pulls No Punches

I know the Pope’s comments are from a while back; but don’t forget that much of the media are still giving a simplified, sanitized picture of Pope Francis for general consumption!

This being so, it’s definitely worth taking a long, hard, critical look at the most fashionable, genial, and photogenic clerical superstar since His Most Hot-Ass Holy-Buffness the Dalai Lama.

If my good friend Dr. Gasparri says a curse word against my mother, he can expect a punch,” Francis said half-jokingly (sic!), throwing a mock punch his way. “It’s normal. You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others.”

Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Religionism0 Comments

Announcing Charlie Tribute Hebdo Tribute Serialization

Announcing Charlie Tribute Hebdo Tribute Serialization

Prefatory note by Voltaire:

Eh bien! The following piece, it is all rather ornate-sounding. The artificial style and flamboyance of a pseudo-Parisian, or even a tinpot Hitchens knock-off.

Ah, Mesdames et Messieurs, please do not worry… the essay itself that the Monsieur Wallace is announcing, it will be much less artsy-fartsy. I believe he has drunk of the Anglo-Yuletide sherry, and so you should be so pleased as to not take the contrived style to heart! Next time, he will be more sober, but no less swiftly, eh bien, Swiftly truthful!

I am running my serialization of Why Shouldn’t I Do God from 3-7 January: on Glossy News

This essay appeared in the original edition of the first volume of Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophes. The second edition comes out at the end of January 2016. The latter ebook was entitled I Shouldn’t Do God…

Thanks Alistair! The latter Notable-Public-Publicist being ever a source of wanton inspiration and flamboyantly articulate delight, as some will no doubt already be aware…

Here and here.  ;)

More soberly, though (and no less seriously), the essay Why Should I Do God may be of considerable interest to those who are not at all too slick and bien-pensant (de droite et de gauche!) to utter the immortal words:

#JeSuisCharlie Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary0 Comments

Opinion: Ted Cruz is right. Why We Should Turn Away Refugees

Opinion: Ted Cruz is right. Why We Should Turn Away Refugees

In the wake of the deadly Isis terrorist attacks on Paris which killed 129 people and wounded hundreds more, the issue of whether or not to continue taking in refugees has divided us here in the United States of America, home of the free, land of the brave.

On Fox News, Senator and Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz said, “President Obama and Hillary Clinton’s idea that we should bring tens of thousands of Syrian Muslim refugees to America—it is nothing less than lunacy. On the other hand Christians who are being targeted for genocide, for persecution, Christians who are being beheaded or crucified, we should be providing safe haven to them. But President Obama refuses to do that.”

Bravo to Senator Cruz for taking such a brave and unpopular stance on such a volatile issue! Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics, Religionism0 Comments

The case against marriage equality for left-handed people

The case against marriage equality for left-handed people

It’s time patriotic, flag-waving Americans stand up for our God-given right to oppose any minority group that makes us feel slightly uncomfortable.

The time is now to raise arms – and legs – against the moral decay of this once great land. Join me in opposing the misguided policy of marriage equality for left-handed people. Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Society1 Comment

America is the greatest nation on earth – In your FACE, Denmark

America is the greatest nation on earth – In your FACE, Denmark

On July 4th, we will once again celebrate our independence from the tyranny of England.

Those British monarchs can be so oppressive.

If it were up to Queen Elizabeth, we’d all be forced to drink Earl Grey tea with every meal.

Every year at this time, Americans proudly mark our independence with fireworks, burgers on the grill and binge drinking. And why shouldn’t we? Continue Reading

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Society0 Comments

Page 1 of 512345
Glossy News Podcast



(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial