Category: News In Your Briefs
FL Governor Scott Concerned Gaping Holes Will Impact Tourism
Republican Gov. Rick Scott expressed concern today that tourist will start avoiding his state to avoid being sucked into a gaping hole. Because he failed to be explicit about which gaping hole he was concerned with, it is unsure if…
NASCAR Drivers Harassing Gordon On Starting Second Behind A Girl
Not everyone is celebrating Danica Patricks pole position qualifying run. Many of the other drivers are giving grief to Jeff Gordon on not beating Danica for that position. The irony that they qualified behind him is lost on many in…
Conservatives Furious Over Historical Implications Of Mississippi Error
Due to an error in not filing documents stating Mississippi’s ratification of the 13th amendment ending slavery, historical references will now show that slavery ended under President Obama’s second term. Speaker of the House John Boenher stated, “How many lucky…
Pope’s Retirement Sparks Criticism Amongst Cardinals
The Pope’s sudden decision to retire has caused many of the members of the College of Cardinals to criticize his intentions. Many don’t believe the retirement fund contains any resources for an actual retired Pope, and there are many that…
Georgia Mans Patience Tried By Household Cleaner
A Georgia man claims that he has been unable to go out in public and plans to sue the makers of popular Kaboom cleaner. He charges that he has been waiting for over 30 days for the quick acting foam…
Carnival Triumph Finally Docks, Alabama Governor To Turn It Into Tourist Attraction
The end has finally come for the unfortunate passengers on the Carnival Triumph. The ship has finally reached dock and they are slowly emerging into a somewhat civilized world. Alabama Gov. Bentley has made a statement regarding the ships arrival….
Hagel Vote On Hold, McCain Delirious
The confirmation vote of Senator Chuck Hagel for Secretary Of Defense was held up today due to the inability of the senate to reach the 60 votes needed to end debate and move to the actual vote. Delays were caused…
Dorner’s Body Identified, Satan Up One
The burned body of fugitive Christopher Dorner was identified late this afternoon as the charred remains that were pulled from the burned cabin in which police believed they had him surrounded on Tuesday afternoon. While the method of identification has…
American Airlines + US Airways = Oh Crap
A merger was announced this morning between American Airlines and US Airways. This has been a long expected outcome for both corporations. Many are surprised that the merger has taken so long, but then again, delays in the airline industry…
Olympic Athlete Can’t Run From Charges
Well respected olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius was charged this morning with murder in the shooting death of his model girl friend. Police report that there is a history of abuse in their relationship and are relieved that this is probably…