Okay, sure, I might have recycled the art a bit from a previous cartoon, but I wholly recolored them and added all new faces. New background coloring and arms too.

This came from me reading this tidbit online the other day. There is, in fact, a rhyme for orange. It's just a tad improbable. Kind of hard to work it into a poem, but still, it exists. Age-old mystery solved.

Joke came to me after work. I stopped by my bestish friend Chris' place and we were chitty-chatting it up about his work: feed. It came to me, and rather than spill the joke then, I decided to cartoon it.

This is my first serious attempt at arms, and it comes out fairly comical. As should be painfully obvious, everything is unique... and the reason I say "bestish" is because we've never sat down and made that commitment yet, not that there's anything wrong with that.

My apologies for the length, but the book I drew from is somewhat long-winded. This one was a doozy. I had this idea that defending homophobia because of obscure Old Testament was strange, but I didn't realize quite what odd company the passage kept.

There's a lot of copy/pasting in here, but it's still 100% original artwork. I'd like to say it's the only one this long you'll ever see, but I have a follow-up coming for the rest of the Bible.

I wondered about the stats on marriage by religious affiliation. Turns out Jews have the highest divorce rates, followed by born-again Christians. Atheists are basically at the bottom of the list.

I imagine this is likely to be more or less my style from here out. Probably will add ears though.

There's very little original to this. It's just how I feel.

The image is taken from what I assume is a news photo, but I could find no credit for it and did not seek permission for its use (I'm sure they'd have said "no.")

I spent an embarrassingly long time on this one. I mean it was ridiculous. I was experimenting with new techniques for coloring, shading, eyes, all of it. This one was pioneering, even if the joke is so-so.

This one is pretty meta. It came from me drafting another comic and realizing I hadn't put ears on it... pretty straight-forward from there. My style, at this point, is becoming more defined.

This joke comes from five years of studying the absurdity of the Bible. Everything said is totally accurate as the Good Book presents it.

This is a joke I thought up when I was a teenager. Proud of it then - proud of it now.

Everything is 100% me. All the art, the coloring, the hair, everything. Even the eyes are from the template I made, though I distorted (warped) and overlapped them to make them unique.

This joke came to me while I was driving. I don't remember how or why. Doesn't matter.

The art, everything, is 100% me. I'll stop saying this from here out, as it can now just be assumed.

Second in this little two-part series. Much of the art is copied from before, but the arms, eyes and mouths are all new.

I should mention that in this one, as in the previous, 100% of the art and graphics are my doing. No more clip-art for me, I hope.

The joke came to me at work. I drew it out by hand (badly) and did my best from there.

He's not masturbating in the closing panel. That's supposed to be devious thoughts... not sure it came out that way.

This is a pretty good one. It's a 100% original joke (I think, didn't steal it from anywhere,) and the art is all me too.

Drew the guys, used my new template eyes (they need some tweaking) made custom heads, custom bodies, the whole works. Even the doctor's headband is all me. Not too shabby. Sure, shabby a bit, but not TOO shabby.

Thinking back to last week when those kids made fun of me for looking like a hipster was bad, but it was worse today when, while leaving the Dollar Tree, I put my sunglasses back on and a guy said to his friend, "Well NOW I'm impressed,"... come on guys, really? You don't know my reasons.

As it happens, I did have eye surgery, and I my head does look like a baboon's shaved ass, so whattaya got now? Also, this is the first use of my template eyes, rather than custom constructed eyes. They're much more symetrical, I have to say.

I figured since I spent 3-hours on the previous one, it was okay to recycle the artwork for this one. It's another joke that just came to me as I was mulling around the word "punchline" in my head. It's surely been done before, but not likely this badly.

I changed the background colors and re-made some of the faces to make it work for the text on this one... don't be surprised if you see this layout again.

Spent quite a bit of time on this one. I looked at samples to make the heads, but ultimately drew them myself, as the jagged edges will readily confirm. This joke just came to me as I was enjoying the warm weather.

This is my first use of five-layer eyes. Big black dot (outline) 2-pixel smaller white dot (whites) 15-pixel dark color for edge of eyes, 13-pixel lighter color for the color of the eyes, then a black layer for the pupil... It turned out to be way too much work for what ended up being wonky eyes, so it inspired me to make a template for future eyes. Hopefully pretty soon the eyes will noticeably improve.

While the art may be lacking, there is not one pixel of Clip Art in this comic. I drafted the panels, colored them, filled them with the characters. Everything is me.

I took special time with the hair and the shading (somthing I'm not terribly good at.) Basically I just dimmed a bunch of under-boobs... I'm good with boobs.

Pretty proud of this for a couple reasons. The art is 100% me. even the computer, which I modeled after a picture I saw online. The Reddit Alien is unique too, as you can tell by looking at his muddled ass.

I also used a panel shape I'd never even thought of before (haven't seen it in any of my tutorials,) and I still think it works. Also did absurd levels of eyes, even though canon said don't, so we'll see. I'm not in it for the karma, I'm not even a cartoonist. I do this for fun.

This one is 100% me, though that should be pretty obvious. It's more commentary than humor, but the principle still applies.

The math is legit. I made a graph in Excel, then used it as the basis for my graph, which quite plainly did not come from Excel.

Inspired by actual events. I was getting gas tonight and this actually happened to me... and yes, I was wearing a hat like the one in the picture.

The art is repurposed from the cartoon a few days earlier about Hipsters and pizza, but with all new faces (much higher detail) and I re-shuffled some of the background and clothing colors a bit.

I spent way too much time on this. Probably more than three-hours. It was a joke I came up with maybe two years ago, but drawing it out was extremely labor intensive.

The tree and Johnny were both modeled on existing images, but I very much made them my own. You can tell because I can't draw hands or feet. I introduced the first real mouth I've ever drawn, and a level of detail on the eyes that is new. The sprigs of grass, however, were purchased.

The joke is 100% me and I'll take the blame for about 90% of the art. This is the first use of eye shading. I put down fat black dots for the eyes, then slightly smaller white dots, leaving eyes with more character.

Now I just have to figure out how to draw mouths... I'm still working on that.

Was listening to some pretty amazing mental gymnastics by a Christian apologist, and unfortunately, I had too much info already in my head to just let it slide. I know I'll get a slew of corrections from people smarter than me, but this simple expression of verifiable (falsifiable) science just had to be shared.

My first use of distorted panels beyond a 4-panel setup. I laid it out in 4 drafts on paper before working it up using the WARP tool, plus some labor intensive cleanup to make it actually work. Nearly everything is my work, though you can likely tell which parts are which.

This was another one I drafted by hand. I'd like to say it's an original joke, but it came from Mr. Goehring in middle school who taught us that sunsets were so red because of pollution.

The hill and the man are all me, but the gorgeous sky is a hi-res photo of a sunset I purchased, then altered to look like a drawing. Well, three different drawings.

Pretty proud of this joke. Heard somebody say they were going to Bing something and just thought it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard.

The cartoon is 90% repurposed from the one below, but it just made sense. Same format needed (roughly, could have gone 1-panel) and already did all the work. I did the faces 100% anew, recolored the background, and done.

If the title of a comic is a hyperlink, that means it's live on GlossyNews.com, and you can go there to post your comments about it. You won't, but it's still an option. Just looking out for you.

FAQ

How do you make your comics?
Badly, if at all. I do layer upon layer in PhotoShop Elements, which I got free with a pen tablet. I'll get Adobe Illustrator soon enough, just don't have the budget for it just yet, or the capacity to figger it out.

Where did you learn your mad skillz?
Mostly nowhere, but I lean pretty heavily on photographs, then try to replicate them... badly. I've learned a lot from a decade of using Photoshop at various jobs, which helps streamline the process. I like to look at existing art and photos and sketch it out from there, though it doesn't always work the way I'd like.

Where do you draw your inspiration?
Only from the best. The Far Side, xkcd, explosm, the Atheist Pig and too many more to mention.

Come on, who actually asks these questions?
Nobody yet. Just trying to stay ahead of the curve.

CONTACT
Use the contact form on Glossy News.