Soccer, long considered the game of little girls and college athletes who can’t get scholarships for a “real sport” makes a lobby once more to break into the American market. This time it’s not aimed at corporate ownership or potential network affiliates, but rather straight to the fans. The STRAIGHT male fans, to be quite specific. Continue Reading

Pfizer has released their newest series of commercials for the highly popular erectile dysfunction drug, Viagra. During a New York Yankees game last week Pfizer debuted their new commercial. The new advertising campaign abandons their previous approach of “Blue pill makes pappy happy,” in favor of their more direct demographic approach. Continue Reading

After three knee surgeries in three months, noted steroidphile Barry “Shut the F Up” Bonds has accosted the gritty media for their obvious causal role in creating his physical injury. Continue Reading

After months of inflationary pressure and exterior expansion, sources close to J-Lo’s ass are reporting the beefy rump intends to secede from the main body of Ms. Lopez. Continue Reading

In a public statement issued Thursday the Washington DC chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People formally renounced any mistaken identity associated with the National College Athletics Association, despite their many similarities. Continue Reading

Hollywood – Brad Pitt has aknowleged that his “seven years in T’Bitch” has officially ended. With both Pitt and his A-list ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston back on the dating scene, surveys have shown that instances of fan masturbation are reaching new highs, indeed, bordering on epidemic. Continue Reading

Macaulay Culkin, long the idol of Jacksonian worship, has reached new highs in his career and physiology this week with his drug arrest in, of all places, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Culkin made no comment about his star-turned-felon status which put him in the illustrious company of OJ, Zsa-Zsa and Kimberly from Diff’rent Strokes. Continue Reading

Coca-Cola was forced to withdraw their 8,000 peacekeeping troops from Somalia when war broke out in 1989. The civil scene has since subsided and civilians, long thirsty for caffeinated cola, seem eager to embrace the armed forces being provided by Coca-Cola. Continue Reading

Jerri-Anne Thomas is a newly divorced, middle-aged, portly housewife who has been working hard to express the hunger of her acute onset mid-life crisis. When her sexually liberated spinster friend got a new tattoo hailed as sexy by a variety of fellow bar-goers, Jerri-Anne decided it was just the thing for her. Continue Reading

Fanfare accompanied critical praise this week as the New York Times best seller list welcomed it’s newest member. Rave reviews came from white, black, latino and Asian critics, all claiming him as a member of their own. Continue Reading