Manchester Bomber Meets Allah for the First Time (And Buddha Too)

Hellfire?! But I did everything you asked me to!
WTF?! You got the power cut to your head, son!
No, I did it all, your Celestial Highness. Like, for real!
Hang on, I think I’ve lost the thread here. What exactly did you think I asked you to do?
Like, killing children, attacking civilians, shredding the flesh of pregnant mothers with shrapnel and nails, and…
Quotes or it didn’t happen!

Something something something kill-the-infidels-wherever-you-see-them, something something something Dar el Harb.
Listen, boy. When you’re in a hole, stop digging.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Tell them to let go of me! I’m your most loyal slave!
… WTF. Seriously, how do I even get these people?! If I wanted slaves, I would have given the earth to monkeys or some kind of vile, insect-like creature.
FUCK YOU, AL! I’M BEING FRIENDZONED!
Seriously. I’m sick of these fakers. They’re really breaking my groove. Hey Bud, how’s all that pretentious Myanmar theocracy bollocks goin’?
Same. Seriously, Al, I swear! These radical monk assholes are just sooooooooooo full of shit, man!
Some day, brother…
Some day….

 

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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