Ahmadinejad Denies Plan to Enrich Iranians

TEHRAN – Iran’s controversial president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has denied allegations that his regime is planning to enrich Iranians.

Speaking in Tehran this morning the isolationist president said that these new claims are the result of “Western propaganda” aimed at politically discrediting his administration.

“Let me make one thing absolutely clear to the United States of America,” he said. “We halted our Iranian enrichment program way back in 2005, just after I was first elected. My regime is not enriching Iranians. End of story.”

RIGHT: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in all his sport-jackety goodness. I know there’s no reason to offer this, but (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

Since alleged corruption during the country’s 2009 election, the United Nations has been keeping a close eye on activity coming out of Iran; threatening the Persian country with further sanctions if it fails to halt its development of life quality.

But Ahmadinejad, who was re-elected in a “landslide victory” 3 years ago, was defiant today before a delegation of political opponents.

“We are trying to downgrade our people, not develop them”, he said. “I didn’t silence the opposition and have protesters arrested for nothing, you know”.

Despite his firm rhetoric, however, Ahmadinejad conceded that enrichment might be extended to oil executives and Ayatollahs, but reiterated that it would not be used to develop the welfare of the general public.

Meanwhile, Ahmadinejad’s latest denial comes after claims in the Western media that his country is seeking to build an arsenal of nuclear families.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

2 thoughts on “Ahmadinejad Denies Plan to Enrich Iranians

  1. Heh heh, enrich Iranians. I’m going to try to bring that up at the water cooler see if anyone notices.

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