Milband the Millipede Makes Faux Pas 1,782

Foreign Secretary David Millipede once again stuck his foot ankle deep in the brown smelly stuff yesterday by publicly declaring that there were circumstances in which terrorism was justifiable.

This from a cabinet minister whose government is currently involved in battling the Islamic brand of Jolly Jihad terrorism across the far reaches of the Earth and getting UK troops assorted body parts back on a regular basis.

Now quite renown for his unqualified arrogance and allowing ego to surpass intellect, especially when addressing Third World leaders and officials, Millipede’s remarks – made in support of the ANC’s armed struggle against apartheid in South Africa decades ago – were swiftly condemned by the Conservatives, who accused him of giving succour to the Taliban in Afghanistan and any other aggie fucker and their dog with a bone to pick with the Government of the Day – whether they be democratically-elected or a coup-installed totalitarian fascist dictatorship posing as a kosher national authority.

Millipede was speaking on BBC Radio 4’s Great Twats programme, in which he chose to pay tribute to the South African ANC anti-apartheid activist Joe Scumbag Slovo– a big mate of Millipede’s father, the academic Don Ron Millipede.

Asked by presenter St. Matthew of Paris whether there were any circumstances in which terrorism was justified, Millipede took the bait hook, line and sinker – pronouncing ‘Yes, there are circumstances in which it is justifiable, and yes, there are circumstances in which it is effective,” – like the ANC setting off a bomb in downtown Pretoria in 1983 – at 4:30 pm on a Friday afternoon – in which more than 200 innocent civilians were killed and wounded.

He further added a second foot to the bucket of shit he has moronically stepped into by declaring “The importance for me is that the South African example proved something remarkable – the apartheid regime looked like a tyranny that would last forever, and it was blown away – by ANC bombs.”

Last night, Shadow Foreign Secretary William Vague told reporters the remarks were ill-judged and clowns like Millipede should engage brain before opening mouth – and must be very careful before advancing arguments or opinions that seems to legitimise terrorism in some circumstances when British troops in Afghanistan – supposedly there to fight terrorism – were getting blasted to pieces on a daily basis and arriving home inside 9 x 6 Jiffy envelopes instead of coffins.

It was thus suggested to Millipede in the programme that if terrorism was acceptable then both the US and UK governments were guilty of practicing terrorism for illegally invading Afghanistan and Iraq and using terror to pursue political and commercial ends – to the detriment of the entire populations of both countries.

Millipede, a career numpty that often appears as thick as two short planks, declined to contest this assertion and became morosely silent and quite withdrawn when parallels were made with the so-called terrorist activities of the Official IRA, the Real IRA, the False IRA and Sinn Fein resisting the English Protestant invaders of their beloved Catholic Emerald Isle.

Millipede then went into a comatose state when some unkind bugger suggested that Palestinians in general and Hamas and the Gaza Gangsters in particular, might be quite justified in their supposed terrorist attacks against Israel for outrightly stealing their entire country in 1948 on the grounds the Bible said it was okay.

Conversely, terrorism might well manifest as the antithesis of democracy but with the Palestinian – Israeli dilemma in focus, and Israel ignoring all 68 UN resolutions to concede a few square feet of Palestine back to the Palestinians -– what alternatives are there when democracy has been stifled and snuffed under the jackboot heel of Zionist totalitarianism by a fascist Israeli government.

Nice one Mr. Millipede, as Foreign Secterary you’ve just put the British government’s official stamp of approval on international terrorism. Insha’ Allah.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via