“Gays of Future Past” Promotes X-rated Agenda

Once again, Hollywood is seeking to undermine time-tested family values. First it was The Dark Knight Rises, featuring its new villain, Bane, as a direct attack on the Romney campaign.

Then came Frozen, with its ideals of female independence and incestuous lesbianism. Earlier this year, we had Noah, which, despite claiming to be a Biblical film, promotes vegetarianism and environmentalism as “righteous”.

Once again, the liberals are attacking us through our favorite classic superheroes in the new film, X-Men: Days of Future Past.

This movie stars, among a large cast of talented actors, recently outed lesbian, Ellen Page, as the mind-altering “Kitty Pryde”.

You don’t need me to tell you, any typical middle school boy could, but “kitty” is common slang for female genitalia, which Miss Page has obviously expressed a fondness for. The misspelling of her character’s last name does little to hide the fact that she takes “Pryde” in her love of “Kitties”.

Furthermore, her powers appear to have something to do with mind control, certainly not a far stretch from the gay-promoting liberal agenda that is broadcast to us through local broadcast networks, public pride parades, and the newly implemented “Common Core” curriculum.

Her centrality to the time travel plot is no doubt an attempt to subtly establish the acceptance of homosexual pride as the key to the future of mankind. I, for one, will not allow this film in my home. It pains me, as this film was chock full of great action sequences, but it broadcasts a message that I do not need any child of mine to receive.

Instead, I will promote more appropriate films in my household, such as Law Abiding Citizen, a classic tale of a man refusing to rely on government assistance and pulling himself up by his bootstraps in order to take care of his family.

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One comment on ““Gays of Future Past” Promotes X-rated Agenda

  1. I liked the absurdity of this review. But in all honesty my primal urges drive me to wonder if the blue chick is pink where it counts. And my primal fears ponder what her inclinations to grow a penis are.

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