I have got to stop eating out at these back alley streets here in China. It’s summer; and it’s hot: and all the foods here in China are rotten!
Did you know that Chinese people eat dogs too? Yeah, they put them in a stew. And it’s delicious!
They eat cats too. But there is just not enough meat on the cats.
Dog meats are mostly lean, as compared to pork. And dog meats are so cheap here in China on ’em shady markets because migrant farmers come into the cities and steal all the people’s pets in their neighborhoods.
Then they clean them, cook them, and sale them back to the people.
So thoughtful of these farmers. I can’t help admiring their creativeness and entrepreneur spirit.
The Chinese people own a lot of pets these days because people have more money now.
And the Communist government won’t allow them to have more than one children.
So as people’s only child grows older and leave home, these parents tend to get lonely.
That’s why these parents buy a lot of pets — to ease them of their empty-nest syndrome.
That’s where the farmers come in: they steal the pets, chop them up, and sale them for a meager profit on these back-alley streets, where I eat at.
And ’em fat and corrupt Communists love eating ’em lean and juicy dog meat.
Yes, I am living in a big and evil, f*cking empire of 1.3 billion people — that sales and eats other people’s pets.
So take that, you wonderful people of America.
When we [the evil Chinese] take over the world, we’ll eat your pets too!