New York City Mayor Bloomberg made God-fearing GOP senators quake in their extremely heterosexual boots this week when he came out in favor of gay marriage and said he would do everything he can to support a bill brought before Congress.
Bloomberg is currently the largest financial contributor to the Republican Senate ,making some political analysts suspect that many Republican Senators will have to choose between reelection and legalizing gay marriage.
Mitch McConnell, seeming torn, issued the following statement in response: “What I don’t believe Mayor Bloomberg understands is that gay marriage is icky. When he realizes what one guy would be doing to another guy with no women involved I think he will change his mind. I mean seriously, has he heard what they do to each other?”
McDonalds has come out strongly against Mayor Bloomberg’s comments. A spokeswoman for the company expressed concerns that any bill would be premature and would not have enough backing to become law. The position of McDonalds Corporation seems to stem from their Filet of Fish Sandwich.
If the bill fails it will set a precedent for outlawing other items or deeds that are viewed as gross by Congress. In step with McDonalds were lobbyist groups for: naked old men in the gym locker room, moms breastfeeding their 4 years old, enemas, cat people, Tommy Lee, outie belly buttons, and diarrhea, which all released statements opposing reopening the gay marriage debate with our current political landscape.