Mexican President Elect Proposes Plan to Fund Border Wall Construction

Mexico City, Mexico- Mexico’s President-elect, Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, announced plans to fund construction of a border wall separating Mexico and the United States, in a joint press conference with CEOs from online job search websites,, and, Friday morning.

“We are proud to announce that the United Mexican States, in partnership with our friends at,, and, have finalized plans to construct a brand new wall spanning the length of our northern border, starting next year,” the President-elect told reporters from the steps of the capitol.  “We are excited to finalize this deal.  We believe this plan will provide a blue print for other nations with similar security concerns, moving forward.”

“We believe this plan,” CEO Ian Siegel continued, “will not only square up security issues at the border, but will create a new stream of revenue for the Mexican government, helping to shore up budgetary deficits, and providing much needed services to the people of Mexico.  Once completed, we believe this wall has the potential of generating billions of dollars of revenue every year.  With an estimated construction cost of 18 billion dollars, and a construction time of two years, we believe this wall will pay for itself within the first decade.” CEO, Hisayuki “Deko” Idekoba, added that, “This partnership with the Mexican government, will usher in an era of unheralded profitability for the people of Mexico, while at the same time helping me and my industry partners fulfill our companies goals of improving people’s lives through employment opportunities.”

“During the construction phase, we estimate this project will employ anywhere between 25,000- 50,000 Mexican citizens, 800 heavy transport trucks and around 3200 affordable skid steer tracks  Once completed, we believe that the wall itself will lead to millions of employment opportunities,” CEO Mark Stoever concluded.

The wall construction, according to President-elect Obrador, “will consist of series of concrete walls, and large display screens stretching from California to Texas.  Our business partners will utilize the walls to sell advertising space, effectively creating bill boards that span up to a mile in length, and can be viewed from either side of the wall.,, and will post their job listings on the monitor portions of the wall, advertising employment opportunities throughout Central and North America.”

Politicians on both sides of the border were varied in their responses to the proposed plan.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer told reporters the plan “is a very creative solution.  I’m not necessarily a fan of building a wall to separate our two countries when there are more cost prohibitive, technology fixes that could be employed, but as long as we’re not funding it, I’m not going to complain.”

Outgoing President of Mexico Enrique Pena Nieto called the plan, “Stupid, and a significant waste of money,” adding, “this will bankrupt Mexico.”

Virginia Representative and immigration hardliner Bob Goodlatte (R-VA) angrily criticized the plan.  “I don’t like the idea of Mexico putting advertisements on the American side of the border.  What do you think the chances are we see bilingual signage on the American side?  This seems like a security risk to me.  I’ll be working on legislation to prevent Mexico from going through with their plans.”

Ohio Representative Jim Jordan (R-OH) also denounced the plan.  “I don’t have a problem with Mexico funding this project, but I don’t like the idea of them being the ones who build it as well.  Under President Trump’s proposal, America would build the wall and pay for it up front.   When the wall is completed, Mexico would then reimburse us for the construction costs.  We had already built in a series of markups that would’ve made this a very profitable venture for the US.  Under this plan, Mexico would have control over the whole thing.  This wall is only worth the effort if we’re getting something out of the deal.”

President Trump celebrated the announcement tweeting, “Sounds like Mexico is going to finally pay for my wall. I told you they would.  #MAGA #PROMISESKEPT #WINNING”

Picture: Pixabay.

Author: Fort Nag

Ft. Nag is a poet and speculative satirist who lives in Sacramento, CA. "Real News and Fake News have become interchangeable in our world today. This probably won't help. Sorry."