Iowa State Fair Exhibits True Nature Of Politics by Having Presidential Candidates Penned up.

This year’s crop of Presidential weeds….. er… candidates made their appearance this week at the traditional show case starting gate for the quad yearly election- the Iowa State Fair. This time in a stock pen.

All the hopefuls vying for the so-called honor of being chosen the Commander in Chief of the entire United States were herded into a fenced off pen in one of the livestock barns and put on display.

After a few hours it was realized that they had to separate the Republicans from the only two Democrats or suffer from there being a dictatorship of the Right due to their annihilating of the not-so-aggressive Libs.

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were immediately put into their own pen with an empty space separating them from their traditionally enemies the Republicans.

Eventually it was also realized that they also had to separate Donald Trump from the rest of his Right wing colleagues as well or risk having him afflict them with lacerating bites.

The penning up of the contestants was a brain child of the Iowa constituents to portray the true nature of modern American politics and to illustrate it at the Iowa State Fair in its real light.

This set up would still allow the candidates to pretend they cared about what the Iowa voters thought and in turn allow the Iowa voters to show what they thought of the campaigning runners.

Comments from the attending public were mixed:

One chunky farmer prodded Hillary with a finger and said: “This heifer here is saggin’ a bit too much off the bones.” to which she viciously bit him on the wrist.

Another farmer looked at Bernie Sanders and said “This chicken is way past broiling time. They need to use him fer fertilizer!”

A lot of women flocked around Marco Rubio, more because his cuteness factor than any political interests they might have had. “Say, this brown one is a looker! Ah wouldn’t mind using him fer a bed warmer at night.” to which the other ladies cackled.

A number of other women spent a moment gandering at Ted Cruz and walked away disappointed. “I thought it was TOM Cruise wuz supposed to be here!”

Huckabee held prayer meetings with the people who came to see him. They walked away with a lot of cow poop on their knees.

Some people came up and petted Scott Walker which he seemed to like.

Rand Paul explained his philosophy to anyone who would listen. They mostly just looked at him like he was a three legged duck and walked away.

The most common thing said about black Republican Ben Carson was “didn’t we have one just like him be elected last time?” as they walked away.

Chris Christie ate one of the goats when no one was looking.

Jeb Bush seemed uneasy with the little old ladies who pinched his cheeks and dotingly said “Doesn’t he look just like his brother?”

Rick Perry spent most of the time curled up in a ball in the corner whimpering.

Meanwhile Donald Trump rabidly savaged anyone who got too close to his cage.

Whoever survives will go on to further debates elsewhere.


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