New Jersey Replaces Groundhog Day with Chris Christie Day

Trenton, New Jersey – Acknowledging the demand of its residents, New Jersey will become the first state to replace the once popular, February 2nd holiday, Groundhog Day, with what will now be known as Chris Christie Day, in honor of the state’s esteemed Republican Governor.

According to medical researchers and meteorologists, the notion first arose as doctors were reviewing x-rays of Christie’s gastro-vascular activity, while simultaneously watching the weather on the local news.

“When we first compared Mr. Christie’s gastrointestinal x-rays with the weather of the United States, we noticed some alarming similarities,” said Director of Intestinal Studies, Rico Fedeson, who was part of the team that made the initial discovery.

“At first, we thought there had to be a mistake, but when we looked more closely, we found that a 24-pack of White Castle cheeseburgers Mr. Christie consumed 12 hours before the x-rays were taken had caused an immense amount of activity that matched a severe snowstorm affecting the entire Eastern United States. When additional x-rays were taken two days later, we noticed the activity had subsided just like the storm,” Fedeson added.

When these findings went public, the Governor’s supporters immediately started motioning for a new holiday, one that would predict future weather more accurately than a groundhog ever could.

Chris Christie Day, to be held annually, will host its inauguration at Christie’s Knob in Trenton, New Jersey, while Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania will continue hosting Groundhog Day, where Phil the Groundhog has been the star since the late 1800s.

New Jersey residents hope that Christie’s stomach will ultimately predict an early spring, relieving them from what has already been a brutal winter. However, with New Jersey planning the construction of 187 new fast food restaurants in 2014, many are expecting Christie’s digestive tract to forecast the worst case scenario, another six weeks of winter.