Categorized | Politics

Obama Executive Order Forgives Teacher Debt

Obama Executive Order Forgives Teacher Debt

WASHINGTON DC–President Obama signed an executive order today forgiving college loan debt held by America’s public school teachers.

“Let me be perfectly clear. America’s teachers have worked too hard for far too long, for little pay and even less respect,” remarked the President. “As states like Florida continue to nickel and dime those who educate the youth of this country through legislative mandate of individual pension contributions, union-busting and underfunding of this nation’s schools, providing teachers financial relief–giving back to those who have given so much for so little in return–is a long-term investment in our schools and in our children.”

Teachers who incurred no college debt stood in support of their debt-ridden colleagues. “I don’t know how people are making it on a teacher salary. It’s difficult to live on what we earn,” offered an onlooker. “I’m happy so many now have one less worry on their financial plate.”

Second grade teacher Millie Thompson of Tallahassee was ecstatic. “I can’t believe it. I pay over $300 a month in college loan payments and haven’t had a pay raise in several years. And that’s exactly what this feels like. A pay raise! Thank you, President Obama!”

Surrounded by fifty state Teachers of the Year, loans were “paid in full” with one stroke of the President’s red ink pen.

Florida Gov. Rick Scott had no comment for the press regarding the personal mention of his state, other than to reference President Obama as “just another union complainant.”

Initial reports indicating the executive order contained language forgiving home mortgages held by teachers proved to be unfounded.


This post was written by

- who has written 32 posts on

Ask anyone who knows me, I'd stop St. Peter's roll call to start a conversation. I'm a longtime Florida resident blessed with the gift of gab. Stop by and Talk to Me.


One Response to “Obama Executive Order Forgives Teacher Debt”

  1. Brian White says:

    We definitely need to take better care of our teachers. They hold the key to our future. They're educating the next Bill Gates and Steve Jobs right now. We need quality teachers and quality pay would help attract them.


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial