Karl Rove Seen Begging On Street Corners- “Will Smear Someone for Food”.
Little has been seen of Karl Rove, the Republican Wunderkind of underhanded politics, since his horrendous humiliation due to Obama winning the Presidential election- until now. Witness’s claim to have seen him at various street corners around Washington holding a cardboard sign stating ‘Will smear someone for food.’
The former cornerstone of smarmy Republican underground politics looked bedraggled and had at least three days worth of beard stubble on his face. His eyes were reddened, his face bloated and people who talked with him said they could smell expensive bourbon on his breath.
Few seem to be taking him up on his offer, although Donald Trump did pull up in his stretch limo and gave him a few bucks after saying something about “Kenya” and “ birth certificate” before peeling out.
Rove, who has lost his golden boy stature with the Republicans since his smear blitz against Obama lost the organization 300 million dollars, has been having a hard life.
He was last seen having a hissy fit on FOX News when even they conceded the election to Obama. It appears that he locked himself in a closet there and refused to come out. After 14 hours inside they broke down the door because they could hear him starting to gnaw on the wood framing and screaming for his teddy bear Pookie.
It has also been rumored that there are rich hit men out looking to grease the professional weasel for having lost so much of their hard connived money. It will be difficult for them to find him, however, as his appearance has changed dramatically. He has lost weight and had his trademarked ‘nerd boy’ glasses broken in a scuff with another homeless man over whose turf a particularly good street corner belonged to.
A number of the more ‘Compassionate Conservatives’ (around two) have created a donation pool to try to get the former propaganda minister off the streets and making a big deal about it to the press. “See?” said Sharon Biggott, “We do take care of our own. We don’t leave them out to twist in the wind.” after handing the tramped out man one whole dollar bill.
A number of Democrats have also taken up a collection to have the pudgy pundit given a gun and shipped out to Afghanistan. Their motto for this campaign was “Get out and do something real for your country if you think you are such a great patriot!”.
More on this story as it develops unless he is found in an alley.