In a move that is considered very ballsy for a man who cries every time someone mentions a bar, Congressional Speaker of the House John Boehner declared today that he was officially submitting legislation that would end the so called “War On Women”.

Because issues surrounding women’s health have continually caused problems for the republican party during this election cycle, Speaker Boehner has determined that they can no longer retreat from every idiotic statement made by candidates for office from their party with the same contention that it was taken out of context or it’s meaning twisted.

Right: Speaker Boehner prior to breaking into tears over Rocky IV. (Click to Enlarge)

Speaker Boehner has determined that if they are to eventually conquer and rule the country, they must immediately find relief through legislation. Following on this decision he has submitted legislation that would repeal Amendment XIX of the constitution. This repeal would then render the votes and opinions of the female voting public useless.

Although there are several hurdles that will be faced with carrying through with this plan, the speaker fully hopes that if failed Gov. Romney should win the presidential election they will be in a position that will allow them to successfully implement it.

Reached on the campaign trail where the speaker has been vigorously pushing the non-existent policies of failed Gov. Romney we were able to obtain this statement.

“During the past four years we have continually been beaten for proposing legislation that would compromise women’s choices,” said Speaker Boehner, “Going forward we feel that eliminating the vote of women will allow us to truly work on an agenda that will create jobs, jobs jobs.”

Speaker Boehner, not known for wanting to ruffle the feathers of either side more than he needs to, apparently has finally made a stand in which he feels he will be able to get support of his caucus. We aren’t sure at this time if he has considered the lack of intimate knowledge with his wife that will quickly follow.