Mitch McConnell’s Public Jobs Program Puts on Happy Face

In a stunning about face on public sector financed job programs, the minority leader of the senate, Republican Mitch McConnell, offered a new program that he believes can be started following the eviction of the Obama family in January 2013.

The program is designed to put more private sector contractors to work within the Washington, DC area and to also help local small retailers prosper. Because he will list this program as an “emergency measure”, equal opportunity rules can also be suspended allowing RNC donors their first chance at a federal project.

RIGHT: Senator McConnell fondly recalling his youth on the plantation. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

McConnell’s program will involve a total remodel of the existing White House. All areas of the building would be gutted, sanitized, and then rebuilt using the latest building codes and materials.

There will also be a total replacement of all embroidered towels and linen. Senator McConnell stated, “Nobody is going to want to sleep on those sheets now. I highly doubt that I could find anyone who would even want to wear them.”

This is the type of program that many don’t see as necessary at this time of large federal budget deficits, but McConnell, in a private discussion explained his reasoning.

“After 4 years of the Obama administration occupying that building, it will no doubt be in need of major reconstruction. We know from past experience with those type of people that it is hard for others to move in after they have left.”, stated Senator McConnell.

Although this can be seen as a racist view by some, the senator was able to produce charts and statistics that he received from the non-partisan political action committee Crossroads GPS which he believes prove his position beyond reproach.

Author: Mike Kelly

I like finding the humor in politics. Sometimes what you hear isn't that far from the bizarre.

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