Cookie Monster “Loses Cookies” at Local Grocery

NEW YORK–Sesame Street star Cookie Monster was admitted to an unnamed psychiatric center following a cookie incident at Hooper’s Store.

The beloved character filled twenty shopping carts with cookies before being approached by store personnel. Onlookers described the puppet as agitated.

“Me want cookies,” Cookie Monster muttered, scooping up ten packages of Chips Ahoy. “Mitt Romney want Cookie’s cookies!”

“Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! Romney want jobs. Bird’s job. Cookie’s job!” He ripped opened a bag and crammed six cookies in his mouth. “AAARRRGGGHHH!” he sputtered, crumbs flying. “Romney! Not good enough for me!!!”

The GOP presidential candidate indicated he would fire Big Bird during what is now known on Sesame Street as the “berate debate” where neighborhood favorite Barack Obama got handed his own cookies by Romney.

Police were called to Hooper’s Store after the googly-eyed Cookie Monster refused to pay for his purchases.

Close friends Bert and Ernie issued a press release stating Cookie Monster had been “ … unusually distraught …” following the debate, confused by Romney’s vow to put Americans back to work yet pledge to strip federal funding from public broadcasting that would result in a loss of jobs and most certainly turn Sesame Street into a closed set.

Cookie Monster has a long history of being blue. He has publicly attributed his depression to handling by two Muppeteers at an early age.

The megastar presently serves as the national spokesperson for the “C is for Cookie” foundation.