Tea Party Rebukes Bachmann for Un-Christian Breaking Wind Incident

WASHINGTON DC — GlossyNews.com Minnesota GOPTea Bagger Rep. Michelle Bachmann broke wind yesterday in what was described as a home accident. She and her staff immediately flew to Washington DC where she announced the cancellation of her April appearances in Minnesota, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reported.

Her chief of staff, Orli Shatz, read the announcement in her Congressional office. “Congresswoman Bachmann is very sad to report that her April appearances in her home state of Minnesota will have to be canceled until further notice. Due to unforeseen circumstances, Rep. Bachmann will not be able to appear at any political gatherings in Minnesota. She is understandably quite embarrassed about all this. Ms. Bachmann requests your understanding of her personal disappointment.”

When reached by phone, a UM spokesperson said “it’s unlikely that her appearance could be rescheduled this year. We aren’t equipped with the necessary number of gas masks that might be needed.”

The Star-Tribune’s political blog poster wrote that Bachmann had been scheduled to appear at her annual university fund-raiser “Politics: The Winds of Change” rally in mid-April on the University of Minnesota campus. “This Winds of Change rally for Bachmann is her largest source of funding in Minnesota. Lots of people show up each year and she is saying she is very sad to have to cancel. It is important to note that even though she has canceled her major state appearances, she is still planning to continue building her self-proclaimed Powder Room Caucus.”

When asked to comment on these continuing local meetings, her chief of staff said, “This Powder Room Caucus is a brilliant idea by Ms. Bachmann. She has perceived rightly that value-driven women in her district and other Congresswomen in Washington need a place to blow off steam. The Powder Room Caucus is the place for this to happen. This is not a secretive group. Rather Ms. Bachmann sees it as a trans-genderfication of those smoke-filled rooms of the old guard pols.”

Ms. Shatz continued, “Michelle is assured that all right thinking women in her congressional district have a great need to, as she says, ‘blow off steam’ in this volatile political environment. She explained to her female constituents that all post-Tuscon Republicans are eagerly seeking a way to release their pent-up politico/emotional needs.

“Hence, the Powder Room Caucus. This is a political safe haven concept. There are to be no hunting words, no machismo speak, and best of all – no guns. Michelle has banned all of these uses of comparative terms and visual aids about killing and maiming and such. Comments such as ‘lock and load’, ‘take aim at so and so’, ‘put them out of their misery’, ‘get ’em in your crosshairs’, have been written out of the Republican playbook for good. These are not the terms of the Powder Room Caucus and will not be allowed anymore.

“Powder Room Caucus members will recast the beaten up image of the Tea Party. Taking a cue from the Red Hat Society, members of the Tea Party will begin dressing in matching outfits and will only meet in refined locations that serve tea. In other words, ‘Tea Rooms’. It’s amazing that in several sub-cultures of our society, powder rooms and tea rooms have a similar description.”

On a related issue, Rep. Bachmann indicated her intention to step aside from her post on the House Tea Party Caucus as well. “I’d like to clear the air about my stepping aside in the Tea Party Caucus Leadership.

Everyone is aware of my personal commitment to this fine group of members. I feel it is time for someone else to step up and make their contribution to much needed leadership.”

Author: BobZaguy

Gender: Male Astrological Sign: Scorpio Zodiac Year: Horse Occupation: Graphic Design Location: Chicago : IL : United States Wine and graphic design… inseparable. Interests Barflies & Lemonade Favorite Movies Anything with Paul Newman; sauce, lemonade, sex; not in that order. Favorite Music Classical Second Favorite Jazz Favorite Books Underworld–Don DeLillo Favorite Movies "I ain't got no favorite movies, well maybe just that Bambi"