Obama Throws Down Twitter Challenge

New York/Washington Video Cam PR Conference —Today, in a remarkable change of all the GOP’s previous protocols and party planning pow-wows, GOP Head Tit (some say ‘teat’) Rush Limbaugh and Sen. John Boehner aired the first of their many planned video conferences to the public and the mainstream media.

Limbaugh/Boehner Feed: “With the totally screwed state of national affairs in evidence as we speak –uh, cam– we have decided to institute a change in the political jargon that has been apparent to the public over the past 10 months of the current president’s term of office.”
Pool Questioner: “How will this affect your Republican style of conducting the business of government?”
L/B: “Beginning with this video cam conference we have scrapped the old talking points way of being a political party. No longer will you hear that stilted sounding tonality coming from any of the members of the Republican Party. No more ‘Halfrican-American’ stuff from Rushbo, for example,” said Rush.”I’m off that stuff for good.”

PQ: “What will you do differently? Why the video cam approach?”
L/B: “We are opening up the GOP to the social media on the internets. We are going to conduct all of our conferencing by video cam on Twitter and Facebook. President Obama has thrown down to us and we are going to respond in kind.”

PQ: “How has the President ‘thrown down’?”
L/B: “By making a Twitter statement that is such an all-empowering statement that it turns it into a mandate for the world in less than 140 characters, and it is understood,” said Sen. Boehner. “Even by us, I may add.”

PQ: “Can you relate this particular statement and why it is so powerful?”
L/B: “Surely, it is this.” We wl suprt the Mlenim Dvlpmnt Gols, & aproch nxt yrs sumit wth a globl pln 2 make thm a realit. And we wl set r sites on the eradikshn of xtrm povrt n r time. 124 count!
L/B: “The Republicans could never have put this quality together, in the rest of this millennium. If we had that much time,” said Mr. Limbaugh. “It’s exasperating. I am planning to quit my radio show over this. I have been shamed.”

PQ: “Why would you give up so easily with this simple statement?”
L/B: “Bono wrote about it in an op-ed in the NY Times. We are, like, so totally cooked if Bono isn’t on our side anymore.”

PQ: “But, may I say bluntly, Bono was never on your side in this particular issue. You’ve gotta be kidding guys.”
L/B: “You don’t see do you?” grumped Limbaugh. “He is able to make a cogent political statement in less than 140 characters.
“Frame it, question it and answer it. On talk-radio, we can’t even begin to approach our point of view in less than 14,000 characters. In our present frame of mind, we can’t even begin to think in less than 1,000-word questions. No one’s going to read 12 Twitters in a row. We are dead.” Emphasized Sen. Boehner.

Limbaugh continued, “All we can hope to do now is push for the video cam dominance and pray that we can score points there before he figures out that we have changed battle fronts.” He lit another cigar from the first stub in his hand and puffed.

Boehner broke through the cloud of smoke, “We’re like the Taliban in more ways than one, we have to keep shifting from one place to another. Damn this guy is good.”

PQ: “Do I get this right that you are trying to one-up President Obama’s Twitter speech with a video cam conference call?”
L/B: “It’s the only thing we can do. We’re snookered into a corner here. We were blindsided by his unforseen Twitter Ability. And it is a jaw-dropping ability.”
Limbaugh continued alone “I have sent the 129 character speech to a metal worker and he is scribing it into a steel plaque that we are going to hang on our wall. Not our Facebook wall, mind you, but our office wall.”

PQ: “Second to last question: What’s with the Mitch McConnell clownface makeup thing?”
L/B: “It’s a bad attempt at marketing to get people to show up and watch our video cam conference. It didn’t work, as you see.”

PQ: “And my quick final question here men, what do you do when the President takes up his own video cam and makes a film that wins an Academy Award Oscar?”
L/B: Tears streaming down their cheeks, “Say it isn’t so. Please? Say it isn’t so.”

PQ: “I understand that the tape has been submitted to the committee.”
The video screen goes to black.