Rodent Rodham Clinton Boosts US Neo-Imperialism in Africa

US Secretary of Sleaze Hilarious Rodent Clinton’s eleven-day tour of Darkest Africa took in seven AIDS-ravaged countries across the malfunctional continent.

Following on from President Barky O’Barmy’s trip to Ghana, the Rodent’s personal visit highlights the administration’s unwavering and pertinacious intention to strengthen the US neo-Imperialist position in Africa against the challenge of its BRICSA rivals (Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa – the largest of the emerging global economies).

“It’s where his nigger-black blood comes from!” the Mena Mafia’s Matriarch declared to a crowd of stoned gollies in the Kenyan capital of Nairobi, totally forgetting O’Barmy was supposed to be born in Hawaii – and has a forged birth certificate to prove it.

In what has become a dogmatic mantra, the Rodent wholly ignored the effects of centuries of looting and depredation by Catholic missionaries and European Imperialist profiteers – from ‘Jesus Saves’ mind games to the exploitation of raw materials to slavery – and blamed Africa’s present poverty-stricken basket-case status on the Bell Curve Deficiency Syndrome and a lack of good governance – by their own corrupt leaders.

Applying the science of selective political memory the Rodent mentioned nary a whisper of the US roles – past and present – in establishing the iniquitous regimes that govern Africa today – through arranging military coups or the assassinations of uncooperative leaders – such as the Dulles brothers orchestrating the snuffing of Congo’s brilliant Patrice Lumumba in 1961.

Even less reference was focused on the role US-owned multi-national corporations play in nurturing the offshore foreign bank accounts of crooked African politicians and the military hierarchies to achieve their own self-serving ends – to the benefit of the few and the gross detriment of Africa’s penurious – and ignorant – multitudes.

But regardless of all the political posturing and philosophic semantics the sole objective of US foreign policy is to gain dominance and control over the continent’s natural resources and especially the strategically vital Horn of Africa – and the Red Sea / Suez Canal waterways – around which run a greater percentage of the worlds’ major maritime routes and trade goods.

Accompanied by her close friend Sapphie Dildodo – of the Afro-Bitch Black Empowerment Society – the Rodent made a major feminine point of condemning rape as a weapon of war in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) and offered a token $17 in Wal-Mart discount vouchers for its victims when she visited Gonads – the three-hole rape and dirty dogging capital of the eastern DRC.

However, the situation women and girls there face today is the direct result of the decision of the US government to covertly back the Ugandan and Rwandan invasion of the DRC in 1998, which entirely – as planned – destabilized this mineral rich region to internationally-acclaimed tits-up / basket case status.

It was a war which has, to date, claimed some 5.4 million lives and displaced zillions more – with the main villains – the antagonist leaders of Uganda and Rwanda – being among those designated as African Renaissance gurus and patriarchs by the Rodent’s scumbag husband President Bill – the Artful Draft Dodger – at the height of their genocidal activities.

Yet their proxies are responsible for carrying out the very atrocities the Rodent now condemns, with similar outrages against humanity still being committed by the Neanderthal DRC Army – for the transitional insta-lucre of conflict diamond income – with the wholehearted logistic and technical backing of the United Nations and the good ole U. S. of A.

One more major strategy not mentioned during the Rodent’s Hug-a-Golly trip – the real blue whale in the living room fish tank – was the new US military command for Africa – AFRICOM – established under the White House’ 2001-2009 brain-dead Alfred E. Neuman administration.

Previously US military operations in Africa were divided between the Middle East and the European commands. The decision to establish a separate African command represented an intensification of the US military-industrial complex’s grasping greed-inspired thirst for African natural resources and the Shite House-approved founding and deployment of such private military disasters as Rambo.com and Slackwater / Xe.

However in a typical display of ludicrous and obtuse tactical planning by the US Joint Chiefs of Stupidity, Africom’s headquarters are in currently based in Germany – (Que?) – not exactly next door to the Dark Continent – or even within shit-flinging distance.

The original intention was to find a permanent base on the African continent where Uncle Sam might just receive a genuine welcome.

However the morally-bankrupt and untrustworthy Bush administration could not persuade any African country to offer facilities – as no fucker or their dog wanted them there.

Even the most corrupt of regimes – Islamic, Pagan or Christian – felt they could no longer risk such a close association with the US military, after the illegal and disastrous invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan – and the comedy of errors – and terrors – that manifested during their earlier misadventures in Somalia under Dodger Bill’s incompetent watch.

Here the US military masterminds in their Masonic occult five-sided headquarters might now do well to remind themselves of the drubbing and humiliation their hi-tech finest Rangers and Delta Force commandos received at the hands of a bunch of untrained permanently-suntanned cowboy rebels in the centre of Somalia’s capital city of Mogadishu in October 1993 during the 16 hour battle following their failed and wholly abortive attempt to illegally kidnap rebel leader Mohamed Farrah Aidid.

The arrogant and racist presence of 28,000 U.S. troops in their country was hated by the Somali people throughout.

Sent originally as an army of neutral and munificent occupation by career criminal kiddie fiddler George Bush Sr. in December 1992, they had established a disgraceful history of opening machine gun fire on unarmed protesters and flown their helicopters so low over the city that the downdraft pulled the tin roofs off people’s houses.

Sadly this immoral militarization of US foreign policy in Africa echoed 19th Century European gun boat diplomacy and today reflects America’s inability to deal with the growing rivalry it faces by economic means alone – for China – at the head of the BRICSA rivals – has by far now surpassed the US to become Africa’s main – and trusted – trading partner.

Apparently the Rodent went ballistic and rapidly exited the end-of-tour press conference ‘stage left’ when questioned about her discussions of the US-sponsored African Growth and Opportunities Act with the Continent’s corrupt political and military leaders.

Clinton totally spat the dummy when it was pointed out by a pair of intrepid journalists who didn’t actually give a flying fuck about career prospects with the Dirty Digger’s Sky News network that all the ‘G & O Act’ had served to achieve to date was open Swiss bank accounts for the incumbent kleptocracies and provide diplomatically-secure conduits for smuggling in-transit shipments of very hard drugs and their cottage industry conflict (blood) diamonds to Europe and the States.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via TheSatireStall.Blogspot.com

1 thought on “Rodent Rodham Clinton Boosts US Neo-Imperialism in Africa

  1. Commenting usually isnt my thing, but ive spent an hour on the site, so thanks for the info

    Greetings from Tim. 🙂

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