AUSTIN, Texas – A Spokesman for the international terror and hedge fund Organization al-Qaeda has moved swiftly to claim responsibility for the Texas Kamikaze bombing to strike fear into conservative-Texas hearts, at least those of the Texans inside the building at the time.
The Californian born Adan Gadahn acknowledged the relatively successful Cessna flight bomber with as much zest and gusto as he denied his Organisation’s involvement with the failed Syringe bomber just over a few months ago.
“Our Organization is an organization of winners and go-getters. Our Jihadists do not blow hot air and pour plastic blood about big government on the streets but are ready to stand up against it and whenever the opportunity arises- bomb it!!” said Adan.
Critics argued the terror network chiefs were in a gold rush to earn cheap propaganda mileage probably to counter the blow following the recent arrest of their own in Pakistan but another spokesman Kadir Kalintan who spoke on behalf of the first spokesman Adan, clarified the number 2 was a Taliban commander, a member of a coalition partner.
“Critics should first get their facts right. al-Qaeda is a stand alone Organisation not an Umbrella Organisation” he added. Though on retrospection, Kadir admitted maybe they should have let their partners the Pakistani Taliban lay claim to this one for “the credibility score”.
Experts did not rule out al-Qaedas involvement entirely. In fact most were convinced there was a darn good chance they had a hand at some stage in the operation no matter how partial or low key. The charred facade of the building which housed the targeted IRS employees bore all the hallmarks of a similar event in recent history.
“ This thing sure has Qaeda fingerprints all over ” said Dr. George Philquist a DHS[Department of Homeland Security] forensic expert at the site. “The perpetrator knew how to fly a plane low, was well educated and very very angry at some American institution. But still i have my doubts. The damage was extensive but with only three people confirmed dead, plus the bomber, that’s a thousand fold less. The casualties simply don’t match up” he added.
Adan explained that might have been as a result of a minor timing error. “ A few minutes delay in the tea room might mean the difference between lives lost or lives not lost-yet” he said.
“ But hey, this is just breaking news. We still don’t know what lies beneath the debris” he concluded.