Guy Who Sort of Looks Like Stephen King Makes Extra Cash Brooding in Corner at Corporate Events

BOSTON—The employees of Boston Consulting Group were treated to a special guest at the latest corporate event held by the renowned management consulting firm.

It was only within the first few moments of the evening that those lucky enough to attend first noticed what appeared to be none other than famed horror writer Stephen King sitting at a corner table, appearing withdrawn and internally tortured.

Eagle-eyed guests soon realized it was in fact part-time welder and local Stephen King impersonator Buddy Frenkel.

RIGHT: Photo by simonov via Flickr. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

However, many among them were fooled by Frenkel, as evidenced by excited murmurs scattered throughout the crowd mentioning King’s name.

Although he is relatively new to the Boston celebrity look-alike scene, Frenkel has nonetheless made quite a name for himself.

For $500 Frenkel will appear at your event, and sit in quiet solitude while exuding a dark intensity. For an extra $250 he will scribble a disturbing story premise on a nearby napkin, (although those who request this service are required to supply their own pen). Additional unsettling scribblings are $50 each.

Frenkel also offers what he calls his “premium plan,” which includes all of the aforementioned services plus what Frenkel describes as “increased general spookiness,” which features a more darkened countenance, with an intensely furrowed brow and a “look in [his] eyes that tells countless stories of horrific wantonness from the darkest shadows of the human soul.”

“Plus, I bring a deli meat sampler tray,” Frenkel added.

Author: Rusty Shackleford

Rusty Shackleford is a comedy writer typing away from a bunker in an undisclosed location.