Washington, DC — In an amazing, some would say astounding, turn of events in the world, the Treasury pie chart has begun to show increases. Not quite enough to erase the decreases that have plagued our country – nay, the world at large – but a definite sign that a turnaround is in the works.
The revealed pie chart is the work of a new government organization ensconced in the basement of the Treasury Department, far from the offices of the Secretary of the Treasury, Timothy Geithner. This group is acronymically called PIE-CLICE, and stands for Pie Chart Looks Improving Correlated Economy.
In this new, all-revealing chart, the programmers at PIE-CLICE have dauntingly ascribed news into their model and arrived with this world shaking circular news. Notice the extremely large green area “Unknown”, which seems to ascribe uncertainty in the model, but if compared with a previous pie chart, this slice of the pie is significantly smaller by almost 50%. More and more people are becoming aware of the meaning of this chart making group and are thus less uncertain of what it all means.
Also note that the blue area “Decreasing” is very indicative of the fact that more and more people are less and less unsure, thus the decreasing size of this slice of the pie by 35%. This is a good indicator as well.
The always popular white “Stable” share of the pie has been steadily increasing over the past couple of weeks. It now almost fills half of the space in the pie. A very good sign.
Just imagine Mr. Geithner’s surprise when he saw this pie chart only a couple of hours ago.
“I am truly amazed and astounded that this chart is showing such great improvement”, said the Secretary in an office interview. “I had several thousand Facebook friends who moved quickly into the red “Increasing” slice just this very morning based on my last Tweet. It’s a delight to see how quickly our chart makers in the basement are able to pick up on these moves. And isn’t the beautiful white “Stable” area becoming just so rich-looking again. I never thought this would happen so quickly.”
Mr. Geithner was called to the Oval office and took his new pie chart with him, all beaming on this eventful day.