Olympics Committee Ban Entrant
Have you ever tried getting into a paper bag ?
This is the amazing story of a person that did
and in doing so, left his mark on The Great American Songbook
Of how one hit song came to be born,
Yet tin-Pan alley pundits treat it with scorn.
The song was titled by, James Bragg,
Who dived into a paper bag.
A prodigious athlete was our friend James
who desired to complete in Olympic Games.
He trained for each and every event,
with vigour and great intent.
Even a bicycle he did pedal,
anything to win a medal.
Yes, Jim’s problem was his own,
Now weighing nearly thirty stone.
Then, one night when his spirits did sag,
He found he could dive into a paper bag.
Yet the Olympic Committee would not relent,
they would not hold such a diving event.
At night in the park, to develop his shoulders,
He’d drag up tress and throw a few boulders.
Yet, no one cared at Jim’s great trick,
till it reached the ears of, Caliph Abdul Ben-Brick.
He came to Jim’s house arriving by comet,
“I’ll hold a diving event in the land of Mahomet”.
To the palace ground, the people thronged,
For this great day Jim had longed.
The crowd was hushed, they began to stare,
As Bragg was lifted into the air.
The trumpets sounded, Jimmy dived,
from such a great height, few men had survived.
Then as before, his heart it did sag,
But suddenly, he was in the bag.
Oh no! something was wrong, he was in a state,
The bag wasn’t built to take his weight.
From the bottom of the bag a sight did appear,
Bursting through came Jimmy’s rear.
With a mighty roar, the bag it burst,
Waving below the Caliph cursed.
At Jim he ordered a shot to fired
and in that great moment a great song was inspired.
As he fell through the air, Jimmy started to hum, “Caliph on yer here I come”