Northern Proverbs: Drug ‘Em Up Like a Raet Smack’ead

Northern England has the best proverbs.
Trust me.
You’re gonna love ’em!
All these wise sayings.

Crack before port, is a well good snort.
Port before crack, brings all ’em shite times back!

Coke before ganj, yer the next Nicki Minanj!
Ganj before coke, yer a fuckin’ jawwwwk!

Pills before beer, us Nirvana’s near!
Beer before pills, oooooo! But int it merry ‘ell!

MDMA before DXM, yer enjoyin’ ’em.
DXM before MDMA, yer on t’ feel raet gay!

Note: One of these jokes appears in my as-yet-unpublished satire novel on the ‘Men’s Rights Movement.’ Rainbow Jez and the Death of Men.

But can you guess which one?!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!