Categorized | Crime, Top Stories

Northern Proverbs: Drug ‘Em Up Like a Raet Smack’ead

Northern Proverbs: Drug ‘Em Up Like a Raet Smack’ead

Northern England has the best proverbs.
Trust me.
You’re gonna love ’em!
All these wise sayings.

Crack before port, is a well good snort.
Port before crack, brings all ’em shite times back!

Coke before ganj, yer the next Nicki Minanj!
Ganj before coke, yer a fuckin’ jawwwwk!

Pills before beer, us Nirvana’s near!
Beer before pills, oooooo! But int it merry ‘ell!

MDMA before DXM, yer enjoyin’ ’em.
DXM before MDMA, yer on t’ feel raet gay!

Note: One of these jokes appears in my as-yet-unpublished satire novel on the ‘Men’s Rights Movement.’ Rainbow Jez and the Death of Men.

But can you guess which one?!


This post was written by

- who has written 348 posts on

Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! w_runnymede (Twitter) See my Facebook page as well: And my book serials: You can by my ebooks from many stores, including Amazon.


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