The wicked depravity of the evil, dictatorial socialist regime of Barack Hussein Obama knows no bounds. If you’ve been reading the news recently, we’re pretty sure you won’t have heard jack shit about the recent plot to confiscate your Polaroid sunglasses!
Why? Because the PURE EVIL ESTABLISHMENT MSM haven’t said a single word about it! Any ideas why that might be?
Yes, yes, the entire 2016 election is just a charade. No power will be exchanged. The whole game of smoke and mirrors, or indeed bread and circuses, is deliberately and cynically calculated to distract all patriotic, God-fearing Americans from the real truth…
Barack Hussein Obama, illuminati kingpin and secret Trans-Catholic Irish-Arabian grandchild of Aleister Crowley, is trying to take control of American via mass hypnosis!
“But the guy has been in power for several years already,” I hear you say. “How could this possibly be true?”
You pitiful fools! Everyone knows the first several years of his Presidency, he was only biding his time. But now, he is finally beginning to put his Real Plan into action. Everything that has gone before has merely been a pitiful, meagre dress rehearsal for the explosive DEVIL’S bacchanal of debauchery, vice and inconceivable brutality that lies ahead of us each and every one of us today.
Yup! That’s right! After consistently wearing down the resolve and morale of Americans via free healthcare, the BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS socialist false flag in Benghazi, Black Lives Matter, writing articles about feminism, and various unimaginably nefarious misdeeds of that ilk, this evil perpetrator of every foul and ugly deed is now coming for your polaroids!
Didn’t you know that Barack Hussein Obama is completely and utterly invisible to anyone wearing Polaroid sunglasses?
Nope! I’m not going to spoonfeed you here. Think about it!
That’s right! Yooouuu got it! The SECRET SUBTERRANEAN MOON COLONY ON JUPITER is sending out EVIL LIB-RAYS AND SOCIAL-WAVES that are deliberately subverting the Constitution (WOOOOOOOO!) and making our society (uh, sorry, our INDIVIDUALS) an abominable den of iniquity, and the foul traitor’s birdcage of every wicked and evil-hearted beast.
Your only possible defense is Polaroid sunglasses!
Well, why do you think this evil perpetrator of depravity of unimaginable magnitude is now confiscating our Polaroid sunglasses?
Oh, you haven’t heard?
Well, why do you think that might be?
Don’t be expecting the MSM to be reporting on this one. And don’t be expecting any of the ignorant, swarming hordes of ignorant, benighted sheeple surrounding you to take any notice. …
They are beyond any of our help!
It’s up to you.
And you alone.
The future of America and of God’s Kingdom on Earth and of every true and holy and blessed thing is your responsibility. No-one else can do it.
P.S. For a special bargain pair of Polaroid sunglasses, find my secret underground dark internet apparel store, and pay me approximately 10 000 US dollars in bitcoin, but make it 120 000 for a special double-lens reinforcement, to protect you against the PURE EVIL SUBLIMINAL LIB-RAYS AND SOCIAL-WAVES which can only be stopped by Polaroid sunglasses. Don’t you ever dare cheat, and just try and put one pair of Polaroid Sunglasses over another pair of Polaroid Sunglasses… because the evil controlled MSM want you to believe that this will work against the PURE EVIL far-left subliminal emanations; but it actually doesn’t. Yup! That’s right! You can actually trust me on that one too!
Now, if the glasses don’t work, you can ask for a refund, but we probably won’t issue one, because by that time, you’ll already be too far gone. Don’t miss your chance! Be quick!
The future of the civilized world is in your hands. Don’t be a fool!
First they came for our tinfoil hats. And I said nothing because I thought all those tinfoil hat guys were assholes.
Then they came for our….
Well, anyway. Guess you all already know the rest! 😉