With the election still months away, GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney admitted today that he has no chance of winning and has conceded the election to President Obama.
“I completely screwed up”, Romney admitted. “I am out of touch with the American people and my arrogance and stupidity have become clear to everyone. I am abandoning the race and I concede the election to Barak Obama”.
Romney’s friends and supporters were stunned at the announcement. “Yes, he f–ked up but I didn’t think he’d drop out!” said running mate Paul Ryan.
“You’ll have to forgive my husband. He comes across as being so smart but he’s a real dumb ass!” Romney’s wife Ann said.
The election will now be between Obama and Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson and many republicans said they will be switching to Johnson’s side.
“Anyone but Obama”, said former Ku Klux Klan leader Johnny Lee Clary.
Honestly dude, you have to wonder if this is truly happening. While Obama is out raising huge voter crowds, Romney is off in San Diego in private fund-raisers.
I half-suspect he’s trying to bring in enough money to repay the $40 million debt his campaign owes to… Mitt Romney. He loaned his last failed bid that much, and he has to know he can’t win this thing, so maybe he’s just trying to do what he’s always done best. Pilfer as much cash as he can and let it fail.