A junior reporter for the bi-monthly socialite newspaper, Washington Society News, while doing research on the backgrounds of Michaele and Tareq Salahi, has uncovered a most interesting fact, which will run tomorrow on TMZ. Michaele Salahi and syndicated columnist and all-around bad ass, Ann Coulter, may be sisters. Born Michelle Ann Holt, it is believed that Michaele and Ann may share the same mother.
Aside from the uncanny resemblance, both women have something even more in common, their desire to “stir up the pot” and create imaginary narratives out of thin air. While Ann Coulter is vehemently denying this rumor saying that everyone should know that no sister of hers would ever want to rub elbows with a bunch of Democrats, Michaele and Tareq are happy to finally have a large enough appearance fee to let this news out in the open. “Ok, you got us again,” said Michaele. “We just can’t keep anything a secret can we?”
Once the information was leaked, it is reported that the Salahis contacted Ann Coulter, offering to go away quietly if she would pay them a six figure amount.
“Look, we’ve been shopping our White House story all around town and it can’t last forever. We need to think of our futures and although blood is thicker than money, we just can’t pass up these opportunities when they present themselves,” said Tareq.
Asked if they have proof of the fact that Ann is Michaele’s sister, Michaele began digging in her purse telling the reporter, “yeah, I have a birth certificate right here,” but despite countelss on-the-record demands, refused to produce it.
Meanwhile, officials at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom have denied rumors that Michaele and Taraq posed as guests of honor with Minnie and Mickey Mouse two weeks ago during Walt Disney’s Parade of Dreams, but an unidentified employee confirms that they did in fact pull a fast one at the Magic Kingdom, and that when discovered, they were quickly escorted out of what the Salahi’s now call “the second happiest place on earth.”
Oh these two are real pieces of work. I was working for the Aston Martin dealer in VA where he leased his DB9. Every time Tareq came in he acted like he was royalty. He made it a point of telling me he owned Oasis winery. I found out later his father owned it. Once he came in and asked me how I was doing I told him my stepmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. He said his father s suffering from it as well. I found out that his father did not have Alzheimer’s in fact he was fine. What kind of sick individual would say something like that about his own father?
He introduced his wife Michaela as a former Chanel model, found out later she worked the Chanel counter at the local Nordstrom’s. I was present at one of his polo events where he single handedly piss off ever vendor and caterer present. It was so poorly organized and managed that trash was not being empted and piled up everywhere. The former wife of Bob Johnson, founder of BET was providing the catering for the VIP tent. Tereq was allowing his friend into the tent without having paid for a VIP pass and she subsequent supplied food for people who did not pay for it. When the event was over she handed him the bill for the deference and he laughed.
Complete scam artist and masters of BS….
What monkey? There’s a monkey? I love monkeys. They are extremely cute and actually smarter than some readers. Betcha THEY get satire.
OK, let’s put the picture of Obama and the monkey up there, too. Gee, isn’t this fun making fun of people? 1st graders really enjoy it.
yep, no DNA testing involved. Just measure those adam’s apples. Hmm Adam’s Apples, I feel another Adam Lambert story coming on.
I predict when all is said and done and the secrets are revealed that what looks like a sister act will actually be a brother act. Transsexual brothers at that. The Coulter family will be so proud that their boys have finally come clean with the real story.
Has anyone noticed how tall Michaele is for a woman? And what a large adam’s apple she has? The name Michaele is just one letter removed from the name Michael. Is that a coincidence or a freudian slip?
Could she possibly have spent money on plastic surgery as well as her make up? And doesn’t her voice sound more than a little husky? Perhaps it is all nothing, but these things are curiosities….