Posted on 30 January 2015.
Washington, D.C.- Following an alarming number of calls to the CDC, FBI, and NSA, security analyst have concluded that the zombie apocalypse came and went without any causalities and $0 in property damage.
Current Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel, spoke on the matter, “Around 5:03 a.m. eastern standard time, a zombie uprising started near Deer Lick, Kentucky. The uprising promptly ended 3 minutes later, apparently due to the fact that zombies lack muscle tissue.”
Read the full story
Posted in Health, World News
Posted on 23 August 2014.
University if Missouri, Columbia — Despite his mounting college debt and lack of employment, college senior Brent Hamilton appears to be more troubled by the prospect of a zombie apocalypse than his imminent future.
“Brent’s always been a little eccentric, but lately all he talks about is a potential zombie outbreak,” revealed Devin Carter, Brent’s roommate for the past two years.
“He can’t even walk to class without pointing out which buildings are deathtraps and whether or not a facility is perfect for undead sniping. The guy didn’t even consider going to the job fair because it was being held in the Mizzou Rec Complex. Read the full story
Posted in Health, Strange People
Posted on 31 March 2013.
We all know what time of year it is, so without further ado, here’s our holiday installment.
Click image to see it full-size.
Posted in Comics, Religionism
Posted on 27 March 2013.
My kids attend weekly Awana meetings, where they learn about how letting people talk about Jesus can result in candy and prizes.
For the true magic of Jesus, I had to share with them a bit of the practical side.
Everyone has taught my kids about Easter. The zealots and thumper-types gave their take, Walmart runs ads with their take in heavy rotation, and I might have peppered in a few thoughts of my own. Read the full story
Posted in Kidz Zone, Religionism
Posted on 25 November 2012.
Ramallah, Occupied West Bank – Scientists and legal experts from Switzerland, France and Russia were shocked today to discover Yassar Arafat’s body missing from his tomb in Ramallah. The international community struggled to come up with a theory about what happened to the body short of miraculous resurrection. Read the full story
Posted in World News
Posted on 15 May 2011.
Collegetown, Penn – GlossyNews.com – Penn State’s 75-year college reunion was disrupted Tuesday by the arrival of a horde of living dead from nearby Collegetown Cemetery. Based on cemetery dental records, all of the living dead who showed up at the reunion are believed to be bona fide graduates of the Penn State Class of ‘35. Read the full story
Posted in Human Interest
Posted on 06 September 2009.
Kayotic City, CA – Things turned ugly Wednesday night at a gathering of citizens in favor of President Obama’s Health Care Reform Bill, when a counter-protester ran up to one of the march participants and bit off the tip of his finger. The victim, Phil Langes, was rushed to Los Rabies Hospital and Medical Center’s emergency room; however, the finger tip could not be sewn back on due to the fact that the man who bit it off appears to have swallowed it. Read the full story
Posted in Health, Top Stories