Baltimore, MD (GlossyNews) — The Membership Council of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) announced this morning that they were reviewing an application for membership from Sarah Louise Palin.

Only two hours later, Mrs Palin held a press conference where she reportedly expressed her desire to become chairman of the NAACP.

During a rare question and answer session after the press conference, where Mrs Palin answered questions herself, one reporter asked, “How can you be a member of the NAACP when you aren’t black?” Read the full story

Since learning of Phil Harris’ death a few weeks ago, sociologists from U.C. Berkeley have been working feverishly to complete a lengthy report on life — and more importantly, death — in the 49th state. Today, they published their preliminary findings. Read the full story

Following a blitzkrieg pre-dawn raid on her rural Anchorage six bedroom igloo, involving ice picks, hot air guns and a flamethrower, a Homeland Security strike force this morning arrested failed Republican VP wannabe Sarah Palin on charges of subversion, domestic terrorism and several other acts of improbity and general wickedness – including sorcery – listed in the very small print of the Patriot Act.

While accurate details of her whereabouts are still unconfirmed at this time, Read the full story

WASILLA, ALASKA — A woman defense contractor in Huntsville, Ala., won the “Dangerous” Dining with Sarah Palin eBay auction — her bid was $63,500.

Auction details only allow the winning bidder to bring three friends to the dinner. Palin’s spokeswoman said “the former Governor and former First Dude Todd are thrilled that, above all, our wounded warriors are being recognized and honored, and will receive all of the leftover stew. It is a small token of appreciation for their sacrifices on behalf of our great nation.” Read the full story