Tag Archive | "walmart"

New Thanksgiving Holiday Of ‘Gratitude’ Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

In response to the overwhelming growth of Black Friday and its exploitation of the employees who must work in the service industry labor unions, families, certain compassionate government leaders and religious figures have petitioned and won government approval for a ‘pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving’ to make up for the real Thanksgiving that is now almost a non-existent entity.

So many are having to work on what used to be an almost sacred holiday due to the seasonal avarice of companies such as Walmart, McDonald’s, Target, Home Depot, Best Buy and others who see Christmas only as a platform for making great profits due to peoples sentimentalities and don’t mind killing off another quieter holiday to get their way. Read the full story


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Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving- Mostly the Rich

“I am thankful that I have a job even though I have to work today ’cause my boss told me too.” said Chad Shafted in a slight break between customers at 11 at night at the Des Plains Walmart in Iowa.

“I am thankful even though I am not being paid a cent extra today.”

On the other hand, the entire Walmart owners, the Walton siblings (and we don’t mean the one from the TV series with Jon Boy), stated “We are thankful we have all these thousands of working bees laboring for us on Thanksgiving so that we can afford our luxus ski vacations in Switzerland today. Read the full story


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Psychologists Worried About Growth Of ‘Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome’

Mental authorities are warning of the expansion of a relatively new psychic dysfunction they have named PBFBS- Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome.

It is the description given when the shopping instinct that many have developed in many countries continues to push on a person to buy, buy, buy even when all the stores are closed.

This mass consumerism, rising to the level of a nationwide obsession the last 50 years, has supplanted the normal Christmas spirit of relaxation and giving with one of frenzied must-having and rudeness. Read the full story


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Dozens Trampled Over Obamacare Holiday Sale

In what is already being called the worst accident since Walmart’s Black ThurFriday Sale, dozens of people were trampled when crowds broke through library barriers trying to take advantage of Obama’s “Buy One Get One Free” holiday health care plan sale.

The holiday deal which runs through the end of December was meant to buoy flagging sales of health insurance plans.

Several witnesses present at the scene were left confused over the rush since the website can be accessed by anyone with a computer and an internet connection. Read the full story


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Thanksgiving Found Battered, Beaten In Back Alley; Police Clueless

The holiday of Thanksgiving was found badly beaten in a back alley today. The holiday, which has been waning in power and influence in the last decade, is now virtually homeless and forgotten as it has been minimized by the more commercial, and thereby more powerful holidays that precede and follow it- Halloween and Christmas.

Police investigators, who put solving the crime low on their list of responsibility far below that of preventing shoplifting and protecting Christmas shopping crowds at American malls, say they cannot think of a motive or a suspect. This is despite local citizens finding an abundance of Black Friday and Grey Thursday fliers and posters strewn about the alley and the fingerprints of the CEO’s of Walmart, Target, the Gap and Old Navy on both the fliers and on Thanksgiving himself. Read the full story


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Thanksgiving Name To Be Changed To ‘Selfish-Taking’.

Thanksgiving, once a proud cornerstone of our traditional American holidays with roots harkening back to our Pilgrim forefathers, is now comatose on the border of rigor mortis.

At one time it was considered to be the most family oriented of celebrations, a quiet, low keyed, non-commercial affair centered around rejoining with loved ones and a day of relaxing and feasting.

But, with quiet, low keyed, non-commerciality and families themselves being out of vogue, Thanksgiving is about to pass into history without hardly a tearful eye at its passing.

The once proud holiday is being pummeled from both sides of the calendar by the more famous holidays that can rack in big bucks- Halloween and Christmas.

It is hard for big business to make money off of a day which is concerned with getting together with family and friends and only adds revenue to the turkey and cranberry farmers.

The intrusion began decades ago when television, already an established intrusion into the sanctity of the family home, decided that people sitting at home on a day off was too good a financial mark to pass up and started hosting football games on that day to tear father away from the table and from wife and kids and glue his eyeballs to the TV screen for a good five hours of the day.

This also brought beer into the Thanksgiving diet due to the ubiquitous suds commercials that go along with the macho game.

Now retailers, ever greedy for as much dough as they can squeeze out of consumers for the holidays, have all but thrashed Thanksgiving to death with their huge Halloween and Christmas merchandising. Walmart last year and Sears this year have decided to force employees out of their warm homes on Thanksgiving to work when they should be having the day off (Last year the Walmart in our area didn’t pay anyone extra for working that night, just the usual minimum wage.).

As a result of this and the general attitude in the country of ‘all that matters is me’, the Federal Government has voted to change the name ‘Thanksgiving’ to ‘Selfish-Taking’ to more correctly reflect the true reality of the holiday. Certain Corporations are pushing their Washington lobbyists to get it renamed ‘Walmart Day’, ‘Sears Day’, ‘Kmart Day’ since there is little thanks or giving left in the holiday anyway.


Editor’s note and commentary (rant):The graphics below—courtesy of ThinkProgress.org, along with the corresponding article published on 11/13/2013 —reminds us that the destruction of the holiday is also being extended to the employees of these companies, and their families, as well. It shows that there are several sides to this decadent, greed-laced equation.

Who or what is at fault here? The problem is multi-faceted, but the “bottom line,” so to speak, should be quite clear. It is all being perpetuated by big corporate retailers, who through their ever-present slick marketing schemes—schemes designed to dangle the “carrot-of-potential-savings” in front of our faces, while serenading us with the siren song of gratuitous materialism—attempt to entice us to drop everything in order to robotically pass through their doors without a momentary thought.

These marketing contrivances are being sold to us 24-7 through their well-compensated handmaidens, their messenger service, the consolidated corporate media. In many cases, both the mega retailers——along with the increasingly fewer and fewer huge companies filling their shelves—and the handful of immense companies who control all media, have interlocking boardrooms. Shared VIP board members simultaneously direct, build, and stage this illusion-of-choice from plush seats at multiple corporate headquarters.

I realize that I went a bit astray in that last paragraph as my rant progressed, but it all ties into the point I’m striving to make. If you delve deep enough into this greed-induced wreckage, you’ll find much more than just the killing of a holiday. ~M.J.C.

Disclaimer:The previous statement contained views expressed by the image editor (that would be me) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the article’s author. Thank you. Buy bonds where you work or play!



On the other hand…

Those select companies who are not saying "no thanks" this year.

Those select few companies who are not saying “no thanks” to their workers this year. –Graphics courtesy of ThinkProgress.org–


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Walmart Discontinues Slim, Regular Cuts in Favor of Husky Sizes

Walmart, the undisputed reigning purveyor of plus-sized clothes in America at any price, has announced this week that they will discontinue sales of “slim” and “regular” cuts in favor of an all-husky line of clothing.

“It just makes sense,” says Amanda Youcantusemyname. “Over 97% of our sales is in husky sizes, and most of the slim and regular clothes end up donated to charities who can’t even use them because people just aren’t built like that in America.” Read the full story


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Walmart Introduces New Signage to Help Customers Locate Existing Signage

INDIANAPOLIS – Retail giant Walmart has rolled out a brand new idea to install helpful signage to guide customers in the direction of existing signage.

The plan, which was tested across select national stores yesterday, is viewed as a solution to what some consumers describe as an “overwhelming maze.”

RIGHT: Click the image to read the whole joke… kinda got cut off there, sorry.

“Every time I go into Walmart, it takes me 15 minutes just to find a bag of Meow Mix,” said Linda Horton, a resident of Indianapolis. “It takes me even longer to find the sign that points me in the direction of the pet food.” Read the full story


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Bangladeshi Woman Rescued After 17 Days Told “Get Back to Work”

Bangladeshi rescuers pulled a garment worker alive from the rubble of a building 17 days after the collapse and immediately ordered her back to work.

Referring to her time buried alive as “17 days unauthorized vacation”, the garment factory she works for transferred her to another facility to begin paying off the time.

As she was transported by ambulance to her new job, the rescued woman who goes by the single name of Reshma told reporters that she already works 20 hours a day for 15 cents an hour. “Thank goodness for the raise, [or] else I’d never pay off all this vacation time,” she praised her good fortune. Read the full story


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97-Year-Old Walmart Employee Granted Early Retirement

Norma Harris, 97, of Rogers, Arkansas, will be granted early retirement from her full time position as a Walmart greeter after 44 years of employment with the mega-retailer.

Harris will be the first person in Walmart history to be paid early retirement, which she will receive despite the fact that she’s too young and hasn’t accumulated enough work-hours to qualify for Walmart’s retiree benefits program. Walmart hosted a press conference/retirement party at Harris’ home to announce their unprecedented decision. Read the full story


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Walmart Buys Exclusive Rights to Christmas, Axes Controversial “Jesus”

In a sweeping move today Walmart has bought the entire rights to Christmas and all its accessories. The move is designed to give Walmart control over the popular holiday and to help shore up the retail giant as being the main source that shoppers go to to procure their gift buying.

The legal right to Christmas and all its traditions, imagery and concepts gives Walmart the legal right to pick and choose what themes it will support and those it will allow to wither and die. Read the full story


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WalMart To Stock Nobel Peace Prize In Stores For Christmas

Benton, AR – (Glossy News) WalMart retailers across the US are all set to stock The Nobel Peace Prize on their store shelves in time for the Christmas buying season. Officials claim there will be plenty to go around and the actual medal will be cast in affordable gold painted pewter instead of the more expensive gold.

“The medal will look just like the one President Obama received except this one will sing a song when you clap your hands,” claims Edgar Walton, VP of Chinese made junk. Read the full story


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Recession Success of Walmart, McDonalds Proves God “Kind of a Jerk”

As a sign of His contempt for mankind and its ways, God has played the biggest practical joke of all time by allowing the worst exploiters of the economy and the human work force to be the only ones making a profit in the present recession.

Both Walmart and McDonald’s have had huge profits while the rest of the economy has floundered. The masses of people, fearing layoffs, foreclosures and looming poverty have been flocking to the renowned cheap mass market outlets to save their dwindling cash reserves. Read the full story


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Testimony Begins in Sloth Abuse Trial

TEMPLE, Texas (GlossyNews) — A jury of seven men and five women are listening to eyewitness testimony in the trial of impatient businessman Ron Martin, who battered 90-year-old Doris Sloth with a bag of frozen okra after she took twenty minutes writing a check to pay for groceries at the local Super Walmart. Read the full story


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Walmart Pulls “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” Over Missing Drum Stick

TEXARKANA, TX (GlossyNews) — Thousands of angry fans flooded the phone lines and email servers of MTV/Electronic Arts and its retailers with complaints over today’s release of the eagerly anticipated “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” game. The issue stems from a perceived design flaw in the drum kit. Read the full story


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Chinese Call Americans Their “Dollar Store Bitches”

In a newly released book by Chinese-American Author, Pe Yuan Yu-Smith, titled “You Buy More Yankee, OK?” Americans are finally being made privy to some of the lesser known facts about the tenuous economic relationship between China and the United States.

Although his title is considered a lighthearted attempt to poke fun at some of the things the Chinese have been known to think and say about American consumers, in fact, the book discusses a darker side of how China, over the past several decades, has become the leader in Read the full story


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