Around 3:00AM this morning, editors and contributors of GlossyNews snuck into The Onion’s corporate office. Armed with biting words and keen wit they successfully carried out a hostile takeover.

As of this morning, all news originating from TheOnion’s website and their print publication are actually the result of GlossyNews’ hardworking contributors. You should expect an increase in the wittiness of the material published.

GlossyNews is now running surveillance on ColbertNation to determine if it’s worth taking over as well.

Following a precipitous plummet in readership, the once formidable political satire site Glossynews announced today that it will be merging with Twitter to create internet’s the first 140 character satire site.  Glossynews found itself in trouble shortly after insisting on well-edited pieces, much to the ire of thousands of aspiring writers who produced copious amounts of material for the site. Read the full story

Foxpeter Grove, MD (GlossyNews) — The Onion, America’s premier satire and humor newspaper, shocked the literary world today by publishing an issue of ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORIES!

The US’s flagship smart-ass site today reported on several newsworthy incidents that actually happened. On page two, the Great O reported on a woman who, about to take a snort of cocaine found that the powder formed a perfect picture of the Virgin Mary. The woman, however, was a devout Buddhist (except for snorting cocaine) and snorted it up anyway. Read the full story

This contest is active for the month of January and February (extended for March as well), and it will be held-over every month thereafter as long as readership continues to build and the user response is positive. Read the full story