Tag Archive | "tennis"

Biggest Winners of the 2013 US Open Tennis

The last tennis Grand Slam of the year is over. The US Open at Flushing Meadows was the setting for some of the best tennis action of the summer.

Defending champions fell short, the finals served up No. 1 vs No. 2 showdowns, and there were new arrivals and fond farewells. By way of recap, we take a look at some of the biggest winners of the tournament. Read the full story


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Bradley Manning To Be Transferred to All-Female Prison

Convicted military whistle-blower Bradley Manning, now known as Chelsea E. Manning, will be reprimanded to the all-female Federal Prison Camp in Alderson, WV to serve out his 35 year prison sentence, according to sentencing officials.

“Now that Manning claims he’s a woman we have no choice but to remand him to a prison that only houses women”, said Military Judge Richard “Dick” Koslowski.

Military officials said Manning will start receiving hormone treatments right away though it may be several years before he has his penis removed. Therefore, he will be living at the prison for a time as a woman trapped in a man’s body.

“I feel sorry for the guy”, said US General Joseph Dunford. “I couldn’t imagine what he must be going through!”

Others were not quite so sympathetic with Manning’s plight. Staff sergeant Bill Nichols said “This whole thing sounds screwy to me. I think the whole reason he wants to be a woman is so he can go to a woman’s prison and get laid by hot babes! Could you imagine being the only guy among 3000 horny women? Lock me up!”

The Alderson Prison Camp became a household name when TV personality Martha Stewart was housed there for five months in 2004. In addition to being the only male, Manning will enjoy swimming in the Olympic size pool, and participate in talent and game shows. He will also enjoy volleyball, tennis, basketball, racquetball, softball and go roller skating with the other female inmates.

Manning stated that, in addition to being female, he also wants to be a lesbian.


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Nations husbands “only watch women’s sports for skimpy outfits”

In a stunning turn around, a spokesman finally admitted that the nation’s husbands watch women’s sports “only for the skimpy outfits.”

The statement comes as a shock from the group who has maintained a hardline “for the love of sport” stance for decades. The list of sports men watch only to ogle its participants included tennis, volleyball, gymnastics, and a surprising late addition, basketball. Read the full story


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War Criminals Pack Wimbledon Stands

The Centre Court at Wimbledon last Sunday saw a plethora of famous faces and porcine celebrity past-its packed into the stands to watch the men’s singles final between Roger Federer of Cuckoo Clock Land and Andy Roddick of the good ole’ US of A. Read the full story


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