Tag Archive | "Taco Bell"

Every Breaking World Event To Be Sponsored By Pizza Hut


As part of a new global marketing deal, Pizza Hut will sponsor every major event that happens in next 25 years, including: the Tuscani Creamy Chicken Alfredo Arab Spring, the Ultimate Cheese Lover’s Large Hadron Collider and the Buffalo Burnin’ Hot Fiscal Cliff.

It turns out there’s more at the Hut than dipping sauce. There’s serious fiscal concerns, assuming you have more than $24.47, which if you’re reading this, you almost surely do not. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Video NewsComments (0)

UK Taco Bell found to contain horse meat; Customers call it “vast improvement”


Following the release of information claiming several UK Taco Bell locations have been serving unregulated horse meat, customers are rejoicing in the scandal.

Calling the new burrito filler a “vast improvement” over the previous sawdust laden beef concoction, which in early 2011 led to a lawsuit attempting to ban the fast food chain from labeling their beef blend (containing only 36% actual beef) as meat. Read the full story

Share

Posted in HealthComments (0)

Taco Bell Elects to Take USDA Meat Test Pass/Fail


IRVINE, CALIF — Taco Bell announced in a statement last week that they have elected to take this year’s USDA meat test on a pass/fail basis, rather than risking another poor performance on the agency’s traditional grading scale.

According to the statement, Taco Bell acknowledges that “as all of our friends already know, we really don’t give a shit at this point. We’re over it. Call it señor-itis.” Read the full story

Share

Posted in HealthComments (2)

Burger King Abdicates to Carl’s Jr.


Wikileaks uncovered details concerning a previously unknown sex tape between the Burger King and Ruby Tuesday Thursday, forcing the Burger King to abdicate his burger empire to Carl’s Jr. “It is with great regret that the Burger King agrees to step down in light of recent events,” said a spokesman for the mute King standing behind him. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Strange PeopleComments (0)

Unemployed Veteran Forgets Mother’s Birthday


BUFFALO, New York (GlossyNews) — In what Tri-State area Tea Party leaders are calling further evidence of our culture’s collapse, 38-year-old Lance Kilbane, an unemployed welder, has forgotten to honor his mother on her birthday.

Speaking to reporters while completing a Taco Bell employment application, Kilbane struggled to put an acceptable face on his unforgiveable negligence toward the woman who carried him inside her body for nine months. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human Interest, PoliticsComments (0)

Libraries to Start Charging for Books


Bangor, ME (GlossyNews) — The Association for Library Associations’ director June Cleaver spoke to reporters this week to unveil a new library management scheme. Ms. Cleaver, resplendent in pearls and a powder blue dress, was upbeat on ALA’s new business model. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (0)

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial