When “Spider-Man-Turn Off the Dark” premieres on March 15, there will be one change that is readily apparent to the audience. Spider-Man won’t be doing much more than walking or crawling. Spinning a web, flying across the stage, and climbing up tall buildings on the set are all now strictly prohibited by the New York State Department of Labor. Read the full story

Despite of all the controversy, bureaucratic waste of money, and the violation of personal rights, privacy, dignity, and freedom, why do we still need Homeland Security in America?

“Every year, 475 million people, 125 million vehicles, and 21 million import shipments come into our country at 3,700 terminals in 301 entry ports. It takes 5 hours to inspect a fully loaded 40 foot shipping container. More than 5 million of them enter each year. Read the full story

To comply with fresh slapstick Big Brother legislation being issued by the E-USSR’s bored bureaucrats in bonkers Brussels, family homes across Britain could be invaded by HSE inspectors checking that parents are keeping their children safe.

Whitehall’s Ministry for Wasting Time & Money is recommending that inspectors make sure parents have fitted smoke alarms, stair gates, locks on medicine cupboards, windows and ovens, and temperature controls to stop bath water getting too hot – or cold – with emergency flotation rings fitted Read the full story

Rochester Medical Center, New York —An announcement today by the spokesperson of the Rochester Medical Center in New York confirmed that the Mars Candy Company will stage an historic three-year long medical trial with their blue M&Ms candy. Read the full story

Hours, KW – The Eiffel Tower is now a threat to aviation safety as it stands unlit in the Paris night. Other famous landmarks in various European cities have gone dark as well due to the European Union’s decision to ban incandescent light bulbs in favor of replacing them with the more energy efficient compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL) sold by Wal-Marts all over Europe. Read the full story

Among the rarest of cancers comes cancer of the testes. Glossy News brings you these helpful tips to keeping your balls healthy. Read the full story

Major razor manufacturer Gillette and pin and needle maker PrickCo have shown slumping sales, even though Halloween is only days away. Late October usually sees a surge in sales of razors, needles, and other sharp objects. Read the full story