South America (GlossyNews) — Industry insiders are saying reclusive, mysterious media titan Brian K. White has struck again, in his seemingly relentless march to replace Rupert Murdoch as the planet’s leading purveyor of nonsense.

In the wake of famed journalist Blake Pennywhistle’s mysterious disappearance, White spoke to reporters today from a secure, undisclosed location. “Nobody will miss Blake more than I. It puts a hole in my heart that will forever be there, blah blah blah. I’m glad he’s not sending e-mail to my teenage daughter any more, I will say that. I don’t think space aliens abducted Blake, mostly because I don’t know what space aliens would want with $7358 in cash that seems to be missing. Read the full story

At Sea, South Pacific (GlossyNews) — Rumors are swirling in back alleys and executive washrooms about the handful of tapes that, if made public, could blow the lid off Rupert Murdoch’s hold on American politics, bringing Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, and others down with him in the fallout. Read the full story

On a Private Island in the Pacific (GlossyNews) — There is a man whose birth certificate should be given a lot of scrutiny. No, he is not Obama. This guy is whiter than Wonder Bread. He has done more to influence American policy in the last 10 years than possibly anyone else. And he is not an American. And he influences it in whatever way is advantageous to himself.

Say Hello to Rupert Murdoch, Australian born and raised media giant who is the brains and the motivator behind FOX News and their insistent anti-everything banter. Read the full story

An Undisclosed Island in the Pacific Ocean (GlossyNews) — Only days after canceling the television series 24, Fox announced today that it had reversed it’s decision and decided to pick the show up for a ninth and final season. The announcement came just as tabloid websites were reporting that Kiefer Sutherland, star of the popular action thriller, had begun intimidating and threatening executives at Fox over the shows early demise.

The execs say there is “absolutely no truth” to the rumors and that the renewal was just a change of heart Read the full story

An incredible subversive plot has been uncovered in America that could erode the very foundations of our democracy.

Angered over the U.S.’s alleged covert interference with their politics in the ousting of Prime Minister Gough Whitlam in 1975, Australia has hatched an incredible, long term plot to bring the giant nation down.

Spearheaded and personally put into action by super Australian newspaper magnet Rupert Murdoch, the Aussies concocted a plot that hit directly at America’s Achilles heel- our political naivety. Their devious plan was to create a media empire that would wave the American flag and pretend to be super patriots, but in reality convolute America politics to such an extent that it would be the basis for setting up a right wing dictatorship. Read the full story

A former Fox News employee is threatening to file a lawsuit in New York District Court against News Corp, the parent company of Fox News Channel, and Fox News President, Roger Ailes, claiming that she was wrongfully terminated when she told the HR manager that she could no longer work closely with Mr. Ailes due to his “inability to control his intestinal disruptions regularly throughout the day.” In other words, his farts stank to high heavens. Additional claims of unsafe working conditions and exposure to an environmental hazard in the workplace are also being leveled against the company. Read the full story

BREAKING NEWS – Fox News has taken the plunge(errr) and has hired Sarah Palin as a contributor to take on some of the most controversial issues of our time, including climate change. Satirists and comedians were said to be partying into the wee hours of the night in anticipation of “the perfect storm,” i.e. Palin, Fox News and climate change coming together all in one place, and none can wait for Sarah’s opening performance.

So what makes Sarah such an expert on say, climate change, you ask? Ok stay with me on this one. In case you haven’t heard, she is from Wasilla, Alaska and of course, dontacha know that you can see Russia from her house. Read the full story

In a stunning turnaround, the allegedly “Fair & Balanced” cable news channel run by Rupert Murdoch may soon willingly add a satire disclaimer to their site, stating that all news is fabricated and meant only for humorous effect. The programming and editorial slant is not expected to change as a result, but it is hoped the satire disclaimer will deflect legal issues raised by the constant lies, hate speech and abusive hyperbole. Read the full story