Tag Archive | "rednecks"

Is Duck Dynasty’s Goose Finally Cooked?


The once-popular A&E Reality Television show Duck Dynasty is slowly sinking into oblivion as more and more people are coming out of their down-filled slumber and realizing the show does nothing more than glorify redneck values. (Hey, wait a minute. If that were the only thing to bring down a reality television series, Jerry Springer would have found himself standing in the unemployment line a long time ago.) It must be something else, read on… Read the full story

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Top Celebrities Pledge to Create Thousands of Entourage Jobs


Sid Weinstock, a savvy businessman from Los Angeles, has a list of some of the biggest names in the country who are each pledging to hire several new entourage members in an effort to create upwards of 100,000 new jobs in America in 2014. Justin Bieber has promised to add at least 20 new members to his entourage in the coming months. Auditions for the jobs will be taking place in Atlanta in January. Read the full story

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Bleach Shortage In Kentucky Making KKK Gray


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Georgia Mans Patience Tried By Household Cleaner


A Georgia man claims that he has been unable to go out in public and plans to sue the makers of popular Kaboom cleaner. He charges that he has been waiting for over 30 days for the quick acting foam cleaner to turn from blue to white so that he can rinse it off of his shower stall and has been unable to bathe due to the delay.

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Honey Boo Boo Weeps on Live TV When Obama Loss Announced


GlossyNews.comHog Jaw, GA – Not since her child beauty pageant loss in Vicksburg to 6-year-old Playdo model Mae Belle Glutz has reality TV star Honey Boo Boo cried so hard as to drop her fried chicken drumstick.

So far, the Tots and Tiara Queenette has bawled non-stop, and refuses to eat, taking only an occasional sip of Red Bull or Mountain Dew. The cause of her emotional breakdown? The stunning re-election loss of Barack Obama prematurely reported by CNN. Read the full story

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Posted in Entertainment, PoliticsComments (3)

Iranian News Agency Goof: Thought Onion Spoof About Rednecks Liking Ahmajinadad was Real


Note to readers, this article is an experiment in new software equipment that makes the material visible to the public reading audience as it is typed and being viewed by an editor.

It reflects an effort by the journalistic community to get the latest news and writings out to the reading community with as little delay and interference as possible. Read the full story

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Gun Enthusiasts Enthusiastic Following Theater Shooting


I recently had the great fortune to talk to Guy Fortescue, head of the NRA chapter in Lexington, Kentucky, about the Second Amendment and what he’d previously described to me as the “integral American liberty to carry guns.” What follows is a transcription of our meeting, where we discussed why carrying guns would’ve prevented the theater shooting in Colorado. Read the full story

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Discrimination 101 Being Taught in Georgia Schools


While education money is tight right now all across America, parents in the State of Georgia needn’t worry. By combining math with any number of other subjects, some cash-strapped Georgia teachers are finally able to stretch those education dollars and still give the kids some quality education.

Take math and history, for example. In Clayton County, Georgia, 9-year olds are not only learning their fractions, but also learning about slavery in the south. Read the full story

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Louisianan Upset that Oil Spill is Killing Animals Before He Can


Tee Toos Landing, LA (GlossyNews) — Coonass Marty Boudreaux, who spends the bulk of his spare time drinking Dixie beer and shooting anything that moves, is pretty darned angry these days. That’s because a giant oil slick is coming on shore and wiping out the animals before he can get at ‘em.

“I tol you wat,” says Boudreaux, “if der ain’t won ting dat gets to me from dis hole mess dat’s goin’ down out heyah, is dat all dem birds and shit dat’s gettin’ kilt-dem wuz mine to shoots offa my front porch Read the full story

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National Tea Party Convention Takes on Carnival Atmosphere


Due to waning Interest, the National Tea Party Convention has switched focus. It will now be called the National Tea Party Convention and Great American Gun & Knife Show. Tickets purchased for the Tea Party Convention will not be refunded but can be used for a 30% discount toward any automatic rifle of your choice.

Bring the kids for a day of fun including prizes for the wackiest teabag hat, most authentic southern heritage costume, best marksman in various age groups from 3-16, and face painting in colors that don’t run. For the adults, a raffle will be held with the grand prize being an AK-47 BullPup Rifle with a years’ supply of ammo and a framed copy of the ever popular poem by D.J. Pickett entitled My Neck is Red, My Skin is White and My Huntin’ Dog’s Named Blue.

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Sarah Palin Becomes Climate Change Expert at Fox News


BREAKING NEWS – Fox News has taken the plunge(errr) and has hired Sarah Palin as a contributor to take on some of the most controversial issues of our time, including climate change. Satirists and comedians were said to be partying into the wee hours of the night in anticipation of “the perfect storm,” i.e. Palin, Fox News and climate change coming together all in one place, and none can wait for Sarah’s opening performance.

So what makes Sarah such an expert on say, climate change, you ask? Ok stay with me on this one. In case you haven’t heard, she is from Wasilla, Alaska and of course, dontacha know that you can see Russia from her house. Read the full story

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Posted in TelevisionComments (1)

Ask Hank: Trailer Park Pursuit


Dear Hank,

I’m pretty sure my sister in law totally wants me. She’s gross, but I guess I’d still go make it happen if I thought my girl wouldn’t find out. Doesn’t matter.

I’m conflicted. On the one hand it would be kind of interesting, but on the other hand my wife might find out. What should I do? Read the full story

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