Tag Archive | "Psychic"

Psychic Doesn’t See Police Coming


Police have issued a statement confirming the arrest of a crystal ball reader in California.

Known only as Mystic Mary Star Moon Shine Peters, the crystal ball reader was believed to have been arrested on charges of ‘false prediction’.

Mystic Mary is thought to have been practicing the gift of psychic powers for more then 9 years, Glossy News spoke exclusively to one of her many regular clients: Read the full story

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Limbaugh Weasels Out of Another One


Much to the delight of his listening audience, crow connoisseur, Rush Limbaugh has claimed that Arizona shooter, Jared Lee Loughner is not insane, but psychic.

“It’s true,” the egg-splattered Limbaugh proclaimed Wednesday, while doing a mind-bending radio segment about repealing the Job-killing Obamacare Plan for Dirty Illegal Mexicans and Other Parasites. Read the full story

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FlashForward Coming Back to Prime Time this Fall?


According to producers of the one-season wonder television show FlashForward, the show has been rescheduled to appear for another five seasons with a guaranteed story arc. Fans from around the world want to believe the show will return, but having seen the show, they admit they never know what to believe. Read the full story

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Dozens of Psychics Warn ‘Something Big’ About to Happen


Somewhere (GlossyNews) — Wednesday was a hotbed of psychic activity as readings poured in from all over the country from psychics warning that “something big” is coming down the pike. They could not hone in on exactly what it was, but said “it is big, really big.” Read the full story

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TV Psychics Haunted by Ghostless House


Greenville, SC (GlossyNews) — The parapsychology community was confronted this week by an event some termed frightening. Fans of A&E’s popular “Paranormal Squad” were shocked this week when series regulars Kate, Bob and Xi Liang came a cropper in a South Carolina antebellum mansion.

The experience was described as ‘disturbing’ by cast and crew. A&E today announced the episode will not be rebroadcast under any circumstances. Read the full story

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James Randi Announces He’s Gay — Proving Psychics Don’t Exist


FORT LAUDERDALE, FL (GlossyNews) — James Randi, the renown 81-year-old skeptic, has escaped from the closet after keeping his sexuality a secret for more than 70 years.

Randi, formerly known as The Amazing Randi, began his career in Canada as a professional stage magician. Read the full story

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Experts Predict Growth in Prediction Sector


Boca Raton, FL (GlossyNews) The Association for Pseudo-Intellectual Predictions held its annual conference in Boca Raton, Florida this weekend. Attendance was much higher than event organizers had anticipated.

Keynote speaker Adam Lambert delivered an optimistic yet cautionary tone to the assembled APIP members. Reading from stuff written on his hand Mr. Lambert said, “Yes these are the golden days for the worthless prediction industry. Read the full story

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Psychic Killed Over Bad Fortune – Whoa, Who Saw that Coming?


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Congress Proposes Replacing 2010 Election w/ “Psychic Estimate” Index


hWashington, DC (GlossyNews): House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, met with the press and Congressional leaders today to discuss replacing the 2010 mid-term election cycle with a “psychic estimate” of the voters’ true intent.

“There are just so many distractions and inherent inequalities in the current electoral process, we have to seriously question whether a fair electron is even possible,” Pelosi stated. Read the full story

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Psychic to the Stars Makes 2010 Predictions


Chrystal Ball, self-proclaimed Psychic to the Stars has just released her predictions for the upcoming year in the entertainment industry. “Keep this list handy,” cooed Chrystal, “because you are going to have shivers running up and down your body when all my predictions come true.” Here are her top ten predictions for 2010:

1. Steven Spielberg and George Lucas are teaming up yet again to make a movie that is so big it will not be able to be shown in any movie theatre. It will have to be shown holographically into the atmosphere. Since, hypothetically speaking, it will be visible by anyone Read the full story

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