Posted on 13 October 2014.
ISIS: The world’s number one autistic brainchild, the same one which refused to continue living with his older brother, Al-Qaeda, is now in some deep trouble with the United States and Russia.
After beheading a journalist in the lands of SandVillage, their only option for attention was death. Geez, talk about needy.
To make things worse, the group continued with a follow-up decapitation video personally sent to Prince Barack Obama of Nigeria. A representative of the White House spoke with the press regarding this issue stating: Read the full story
Posted in War Zone, World News
Posted on 10 June 2014.
The bald-ass monkey pope from the Catholic Church in some schmancy European country commemorated the Church of Scientology this week for utterly destroying their record set since their foundation back when the bearded old man went up in the sky.
It is estimated that since the Church of Scientology is currently the popular religion, millions of little boys are at risk of getting their assholes pounded like a bunch of monkeys at the local zoo. Read the full story
Posted in Crime, Religionism
Posted on 13 April 2014.
A stereotypical middle class Caucasian father, owner of three adorable children is still being a huge douchebag by not arriving to his little girl’s ballet recital which begins at 4 pm.
When asked on who was going to arrive to pick her up, the angel of cuteness replied, “I-dunno.” Frank, a Texan citizen who is allergic to cuteness, passed away when the headline made way to his town. All friends and family mourn for his loss and blame douchebag dad. Read the full story
Posted in Human Interest, Kidz Zone
Posted on 11 October 2012.
The Catholic church is preparing to make a major announcement concerning changes to their view on sexual behavior.
After years of frowning upon, and causing many young Catholics to experience immense guilt, they are now ready to endorse masturbation for their male followers.
It unfortunately still won’t be an option for the females and this is due to the internal discussions that have been held over the last few months related to the change. Read the full story
Posted in Health, Religionism
Posted on 08 August 2010.
WORCESTER, Massachusetts – (Glossy News) – Police and fire crews were called to Our Lady of Perpetual Forgiveness in Worcester, Massachusetts last Saturday evening when a church secretary called to report a strange smell emanating throughout the chapel where mass was being held. At first, everyone thought that the priest must have been burning incense and didn’t think anything of it, but as the smell got stronger and some of the faithful began giggling uncontrollably, it became apparent that something was amiss. Read the full story
Posted in Human Interest, Religionism
Posted on 27 June 2010.
CASTRO STREET, San Fransisco, CA (GlossyNews) — The Catholic Church revealed Saturday morning that they had found one priest in Renton, Washington, whom, they say, has never committed any act of abuse or possibly any sin during his tenure as a seminary student, and throughout his preisthood.
Father Quentin O’Daily, 42, originally of Fargo, North Dakota, was paraded in front of the news media as the quintessential new model priest of the 21st Century. His background was verified by Funk and Wagnals as well as Price Waterhouse.
“He is 110 percent pure,” gleefully ejaculated Father Max Packer, Bishop of Duluth. Read the full story
Posted in Religionism
Posted on 29 March 2010.
VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — It appears that Pope Benedict XVI has had an epiphany about the sex scandal continuing to plague the Catholic Church: lack of fish in a priest’s diet can lead to inappropriate sexual behavior toward young men.
The Pope has asked the Vatican physicians to look into this possibility, explaining that because priests are no longer officially required to abstain from consuming meat on Fridays, the levels of mercury in their systems from lack of fish has dropped significantly. Read the full story
Posted in Religionism, World News