Tag Archive | "prayer"

Facing SOC 101 Test, Man Makes Peace w/ God


MIDDELTOWN – With the frightening prospect of his last test this semester for SOC 101 at Lord Fairfax Community College heightening, Bo Buzby is heading to church.

“I simply cannot afford to go through with this trial without first making my peace with God. The possibility of defeat ain’t outside tarnation, and so I’m not sure what to do,” he conceded.

Buzby came to the realization that he needed to be ready for the end after realizing his grades in the introductory Sociology course haven’t been so hot this semester. With one F, two D’s and one C- in all the exams so far, as well as straight zeroes across all homework, Buzby is on the edge between a passing grade of D- and complete failure of the course. He needs to earn an A if the former is to become reality. Read the full story

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Prayer Warriors Return From Battle With Hugo Chavez


A group of faithful prayer warriors, armed with nothing more than their bibles and a long history of religious indoctrination, are slowly returning to their normal lives after what they describe as their victory over evil.

They find vindication for their methods in the death of Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez in a battle that spanned 14 years and his four successful elections. Read the full story

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This Election Day: Don’t Vote, Stay Home and Pray


GlossyNews.comMy fellow Christians, there is only one immutable truth on this election day. It’s that God’s will reigns supreme and there’s nothing we can do to change it. So don’t get in your car and drive. No, get down on your knees and pray.

This theme has been on the internet for some years, and I have it on good authority that it was created by a man of faith, and that he did it in the run-up to the 2010 elections, which as you’ll recall, were very positive for the conservative movement. Read the full story

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Three Things against Conservative Christianity


I personally think being a moderate in anything is the best way to live, especially being a moderate in your worldviews. Some of the teachings of Conservative Christianity just cannot measure up against cold and cruel reality of the world. These are a few examples.

(1. Prayer)
I don’t believe a God, like how the Christian Conservative churches teach, is a Universal Vending Machine to our personal prayers and that our prayers are magical somehow as Christians when prayed with enough faith of a “mustard seed” that can move mountains. Read the full story

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Posted in Serious CommentaryComments (3)

Anti-Islamic Hackers Alter GPS Script to Divert Mecca-Bound Prayers


JAKARTA Indonesia (GlossyNews) — At the insistence of Muslim holy leaders in the Saudi Arabian city of Mecca, an incredibly accurate new GPS tracking system will be installed to thwart anti-Islamic hackers who have recently been caught attempting to alter GPS signals to divert prayers meant to be recited directly towards Mecca. Read the full story

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, ReligionismComments (0)

Democrats Turn to Religion to Pray for Palin’s Demise


San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — “I never thought I would pray for somebody to flat-out die,“ said liberal turned Christian, Marty Hayes. “But I’ve been praying hard for this one. I can’t stand to hear Palin’s voice, it sounds like the hounds of hell to me.“

Similar sentiments are coming from millions of Democrats who never thought they’d be seen down on their knees with hands clasped and begging eyes turned upward. A Priest from an Episcopal Church that only one month ago was worried about keeping the lights on, has mixed feeling about the turn of events. Read the full story

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Gays Not Allowed to Pray in Wisconsin


Milwaukee, WI (GlossyNews) -– A Wisconsin District Court Judge appropriately named Crabb has ruled that there will be no praying on National Prayer Day unless it is done in private. “Whether you are an atheist or a true believer, a heterosexual or a homosexual, a Republican or a Democrat, a man or a woman, you cannot pray in Wisconsin on this day,” said the ruling handed down by Crabb. Read the full story

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