Tag Archive | "police state"

Help your town. Become a criminal


If your city is like most others in this great country, it is no doubt struggling to pay its bills and balance its budget – unless your town is Beverly Hills, in which case you can stop reading now.

No one knows how our cities have fallen into such financial distress.

Could it be that for decades tax rates have steadily declined while we citizens have relentlessly demanded safer bridges, better schools, and daycare centers for our pets? Read the full story

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Posted in Crime, Crooked CopsComments (3)

Supreme Court OKs Police to Collect Suspects’ DNA, Suspects Excited for Free Handjobs


WASHINGTON — In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 this week to allow police to collect the DNA of person(s) suspected of “serious” crimes, exciting suspects across the country who are eager to receive their free handjobs.

Despite critics arguing that this new precedent violates the 4th amendment to the constitution which protects against unlawful searches and seizures, suspected criminals themselves have demonstrated their overwhelming support of the Court’s ruling, turning out in droves to police stations across the country to volunteer for this new “government handjobs program.” Read the full story

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Posted in CrimeComments (2)

Rwandan General Killed Millions, Accepted Christ, Welcomed to Heaven


Due to what some non-theists like to call a “gaping hole in theism”, General Mbutu Ngariao, perhaps best known as the Rape General, third in command during the Rwandan genocide, has been able to eleventh-hour-apologize and slip his way into the Kingdom of Heaven.

“We recognize that the whole ‘just accept Christ as your Lord and Savior’ bit may be something of a loophole, but it’s part of our doctrine and the very way we’re able to bring so many into Read the full story

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Posted in Religionism, War ZoneComments (2)

Risk Assessment for Wiping One’s Own Bum


To comply with fresh slapstick Big Brother legislation being issued by the E-USSR’s bored bureaucrats in bonkers Brussels, family homes across Britain could be invaded by HSE inspectors checking that parents are keeping their children safe.

Whitehall’s Ministry for Wasting Time & Money is recommending that inspectors make sure parents have fitted smoke alarms, stair gates, locks on medicine cupboards, windows and ovens, and temperature controls to stop bath water getting too hot – or cold – with emergency flotation rings fitted Read the full story

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Brownie Guides Now Terrorist Suspects


Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism. Read the full story

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Posted in Kidz Zone, War ZoneComments (1)

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