Due to what some non-theists like to call a “gaping hole in theism”, General Mbutu Ngariao, perhaps best known as the Rape General, third in command during the Rwandan genocide, has been able to eleventh-hour-apologize and slip his way into the Kingdom of Heaven.

“We recognize that the whole ‘just accept Christ as your Lord and Savior’ bit may be something of a loophole, but it’s part of our doctrine and the very way we’re able to bring so many into Read the full story

To comply with fresh slapstick Big Brother legislation being issued by the E-USSR’s bored bureaucrats in bonkers Brussels, family homes across Britain could be invaded by HSE inspectors checking that parents are keeping their children safe.

Whitehall’s Ministry for Wasting Time & Money is recommending that inspectors make sure parents have fitted smoke alarms, stair gates, locks on medicine cupboards, windows and ovens, and temperature controls to stop bath water getting too hot – or cold – with emergency flotation rings fitted Read the full story

Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism. Read the full story