New York. – GlossyNews.com – Vinnie Gelano (“Big Jelly”) always knew he was really a girl.

“Even when I was collecting from deadbeats out on the street, breaking bones, whatever, I always knew I had this soft spot inside, a feminine side to my personality,” he says. “I always felt like, you know, fuggettaboutit, Vinnie this is not you, you moron. You were not meant just to crack kneecaps and break balls. You have other dimensions. Some day the real you will come out. Wait and see if it don’t.” Read the full story

Amidst a growing maelstrom of rumour, gossip and scandal Cameroon’s security chief Rastus Chuckabutty has finally admitted some 300,000 people hoping to get jobs in the police force have written, phoned or e-mailed him directly begging for preferential treatment – most of them his relatives – or someone related to someone who knows someone else who knew someone his mother used to buy voodoo dolls from. Read the full story

A burka-clad man – or woman – was part of a gang of armed raiders being hunted by police after pirate DVDs worth an estimated £100 were stolen from the Smegmadale branch of Cockbuster Video. Read the full story

A pack of mutts known locally as the Manky Mongrel Gang have been arrested by a joint action team of police and the RSPCA’s elite Canine Squad officers following the discovery of £3,000 of stolen pet food during a raid on a Kennel Lane property at Barking in Essex. Read the full story