Tag Archive | "Native Americans"

First Nations Emboldened, Demand Red Sox Change Their Name


With the hurricane centered squarely upon the Washington Red Skins, some native American tribes have seen fit to target the Red Sox, declaring them a hate-group in thier own right.

“I’ve watched the Red Sox play for years,” said Margery Margnar of Lower-Upper Boston-Adjacent. “But I never realized what a bunch of racist jerks they are.” Read the full story

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Redskins Owner Dan Snyder To Open Chain of Reservation Liquor Stores


Responding to claims of racial insensitivity over the team name, NFL Redskins owner Dan Snyder embarked on a month long voyage of discovery to dozens of Native American Reservations.

In a widely distributed press release issued on Monday, Snyder said “As loyal fans of the Washington Redskins, I want you to know that tomorrow I will announce the creation of the Washington Redskins Original Americans Liquor Foundation.” Read the full story

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Drunken Governor Sells Indiana Back to Native Americans


INDIANAPOLIS – Calling it the most regrettable legislative decision of his career, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels – apparently under the influence of alcohol – agreed to sell the entire state of Indiana back to the Native Americans Saturday.

According to Daniels – who had been hosting a lavish New Years party at his residence in Indianapolis – a deal was accidentally struck over the telephone with Wabaunsee, leader of the Wabash River Potawatomi tribe, ensuring the sale of all land north of the Ohio River. Read the full story

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Washington Redskins Change Name to Less-Offensive “Virginia-Adjacent Redskins”


WASHINGTON — In response to a recent outcry surrounding the Washington Redskins’ controversial name, which critics argue is highly inappropriate in this day and age, Owner Daniel Snyder has announced that he will change the name to the less-offensive “Virginia-Adjacent Redskins.” Read the full story

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Republicans Force Illegal Immigrants out of the Country–305 Million to Leave Immediately


WASHINGTON D.C.–In a historic, and extremely surprising, turn of events for the land of the free and home of the brave, almost 90% of its diverse population has now found itself without a country or a home.

Yesterday, on Capitol Hill, Republican lawmakers successfully pushed through sweeping immigration reform with far-reaching implications. Read the full story

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Study says a dark day in America – Blacks are getting happier


BLACKSBURG, VA – A newly released study reveals potentially upsetting news for millions of white Americans. According to the longitudinal study, the conclusions are shocking: Black Americans are getting happier – much happier.

The study by the University of Pennsylvania, tracking the “happiness gap” between black and white Americans since the 1970s, reports that the gap has dramatically narrowed in recent years to the narrowest margin since the study’s beginnings. Fortunately for white Americans, they are, on average, still happier than their black counterparts – but not by much anymore. Read the full story

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Wealthiest Americans Expected to Seek Asylum with Lakota Nation


Three years ago a delegation of four Oglala Sioux Tribe members took their Declaration of Sovereignty to Washington, D.C. declaring themselves a separate nation. While the declaration has not been formally accepted by the United States State Department, the newly formed Lakota Nation is determined to go forward with plans to have their nation recognized by the United Nations. Meetings with various heads of state from such countries as Venezuela and Bolivia have been met with respect and solidarity. Read the full story

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Chief Standing Wolf Takes on Rush Limbaugh After ‘Injuns’ Comment


FORT APACHE, Arizona (Glossy News) — Watch out Rush Limbaugh. Chief Standing Wolf, who earlier this year made certain promises to rid Arizona of non-Native Americans if they didn’t repeal their white man laws allowing only English-speaking people in their state, is on the war path again. This time, it’s Rush Limbaugh that has the Apache leader seeing red. Read the full story

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