Posted on 30 January 2015.
Washington, D.C.- Following an alarming number of calls to the CDC, FBI, and NSA, security analyst have concluded that the zombie apocalypse came and went without any causalities and $0 in property damage.
Current Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel, spoke on the matter, “Around 5:03 a.m. eastern standard time, a zombie uprising started near Deer Lick, Kentucky. The uprising promptly ended 3 minutes later, apparently due to the fact that zombies lack muscle tissue.”
Read the full story
Posted in Health, World News
Posted on 06 October 2014.
A stunning announcement was made at a secret hacker conference last month to little fanfare.
An app was made available for the Android or IPhone platform that exposes the secret agents working for America’s top secret organizations.
Called “Find my Spy”, the app is supposed to find any currently employed agent by name or location. Since the announcement the app has gone viral and has reportedly been downloaded over 3 million times already in fifty seven countries so far. Read the full story
Posted in Crime, Gadgets & Gizmos
Posted on 09 August 2013.
The UN Council has put forth a petition demanding that the United States of America drop the term ‘United’ from their name due to the partisan bickering between conservative and liberal elements that has divided the nation.
Chief UN Spokesman Igo Monkeyfat has declared “The name ‘United States of America’ is no longer an accurate or true description of the country.
For a decade now the infighting in America has so torn apart the country that it barely functions as a regulating body. We at the UN now state that this name must be dropped in favor of one that more adequately describes the nation known as ‘America’.” Read the full story
Posted in World News
Posted on 29 March 2013.
Jihad organizers, coordinators and enthusiasts met this week in San Antonio, Texas, to advance their myriad causes. A panel discussion entitled “Sub-Suicide Bombings” brought up an interesting possibility; autonomous cars.
Speaking from room 410 at the Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center, Achmed Mumuhammed said, in response to a question about technology, “Once self-driving cars are on the streets, that will take over for suicide bombings.” Read the full story
Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology
Posted on 03 June 2011.
Posted by your South America correspondents Maria and Consuela Lopez – GlossyNews.com In his first major speech on immigration reform, President Obama proved in El Paso he has now learned how to piss off everybody at the same time.
We Latinos are a more pragmatic people than you’d think, and Mr. Obama’s new proposal does have its merits, if it seemed deliverable. Read the full story
Posted in Politics
Posted on 07 May 2010.
Wasilla, Ak (GlossyNews) — Sarah Palin, potential candidate for the Presidency in 2012, has put in a complaint with the Alaskan State Troopers complaining of Russians peeping in her windows at night. As she once claimed that she “could see Russia from her window”; apparently they can see her as well. Perhaps more of her than she would care for.
“Ah, this here’s ‘Peeping Ivan’s’ lookin’ in mah windows at night!” Read the full story
Posted in Celebrity Gossip