I’ve read so much in the wake of the 2012 presidential election about why Governor Mitt Romney lost, and the majority of it sickens me with how tone-deaf it is.

And seriously, governor Romney, I hope you read this. I’m truly a moderate. I co-own two other sites that are conservative in nature. While I may be a liberal in my heart (and I once drove a showroom new Viper RT/10 off the floor, with my 15 rentals as collateral) I’m still a man of reason. You could do worse than me, but honestly, you couldn’t do much better. Be pragmatic. Read the full story

Former GOP Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney took out a classified ad today in the Wall Street Journal seeking a new friend to “pal around with.”

“I have everything money can buy,” Romney said in an interview, “but I have never really taken the time to buy myself a good friend that I can just hang out with, watch the game with and just, you know, do friend things with.”

The classified ad states that the friend must have at least a graduate degree in either political science or economics, be financially secure, Mormon and married with at least two children. Read the full story

Glossy News interviewed famous Americans this past week, asking them “What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season?” Here is a holiday gift basket of inspirational messages from some of our nation’s most illustrious, America-loving Americans.

Ann Romney, wife of presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney: “I was very disappointed that Mitt lost the election, due to that fluke late October hurricane and the minor fact that Mitt’s not very good at relating to people with net worths under $25 million. But we still have so much to be grateful for. Read the full story

ORLANDO–My choice to drive State Road 528 over to Orlando International instead of my usual route via Highway 1-92 through Kissimmee proved premonition pops up more often than not.

The emergency broadcast system cut off Buckethead and the crew over at WTKS 104.1, squawking dire tornado warnings to span Osceola, Orange and Brevard County. (Those unfamiliar with the area, that’s one major parcel of ranch land). A funnel cloud had been sighted at Harmony, Florida around about the time I would have found myself driving through the green community sprawling east of St. Cloud. Read the full story

Newport, KY – Local liberal Michael Benton walked to the middle school gymnasium, and was greeted with laughter and an occasional jeer.

He greeted his Republican friends, gave his ID to the snickering old ladies behind the folding table, and filled out the only ballot for Obama in the city. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – TALLAHASSEE — Mitt Romney conceded Florida early election night, roof-racked by a story he could not shake.

Animal activists nationwide hounded Romney the length of the campaign for strapping Seamus, the family dog to the roof of the car during a 12-hour trip to Canada… or Arizona, wherever it was he went. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – WASHINGTON, DC — Destruction wrought by Hurricane Sandy finds evangelicals staying home rather than casting a vote for Mitt Romney, Virgil Goode or Mickey Mouse.

The “Lord’s Will” movement initially organized to support evangelical voters in religious despair over casting a vote for a candidate with a propensity towards lying while holding steadfast to the basic value that honesty is a virtue; The Romney Doctrine. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – LEXINGTON — Appalachian state exit polls reflect 47% of snake worshipers scribbled an “X” for Romney while others claimed disenfranchisement of their right to vote.

Election Protection logged a number of phone reports claiming a Kentucky polling place denied entry to registered voters carrying snakes. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – Paul Ryan, never one to let an opportunity to flex for a camera or let an opportunity to advance his career pass him by, has been doing more than campaigning for Romney… he’s been campaigning for himself; for 2016.

Paul Ryan is well known for running Marathon races in hours less than he actually did, having body fat much lower than he actually does, and furrowing his brow right up to his Eddy Munster widow’s peak like few others could. Read the full story

GlossyNews.comMy fellow Christians, there is only one immutable truth on this election day. It’s that God’s will reigns supreme and there’s nothing we can do to change it. So don’t get in your car and drive. No, get down on your knees and pray.

This theme has been on the internet for some years, and I have it on good authority that it was created by a man of faith, and that he did it in the run-up to the 2010 elections, which as you’ll recall, were very positive for the conservative movement. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – This morning, as the sun rose on the cornholing state, Mitt Romney stood in front of a gathered crowd of John Deere factory workers, when his robotic faceplate fractured and fell off of his robot face.

The crowd gathered remained fairly silent, even agape as it happened quietly clanked on the concrete floor. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – Before the dust can even settle in the 2012 presidential election, TMZ has received word that vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan has inked a 7-figure deal to shoot a full spread in Playgirl Magazine.

Robert Benson, an official Romney spokesman, had this to say at a press conference called early this morning to explain the situation, and spin it as a positive for the flagging campaign: Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – In a rare break from election cycle protocol, Governor Mitt Romney was permitted to stand before a crowd of reporters, in what they all agreed was the very moment they had been waiting for in the 16-months they’ve been following his inhuman campaign.

Mitt Romney showed an actual human emotion. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – Television ads have been running furiously in swing states like Iowa, Ohio, Florida, New Hampshire, Old Hampshire and Colorado, but one new ad hit the airwaves last night. The GOP sponsored “Why Vote?” campaign, paid for by Romney Victory Inc.

The ad starts with a woman at her table, sorting through what looks like bills. You hear a baby crying in the background and a man yelling at her from off camera in Spanish. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the Head of the International Cricket Council, Sir Edward Crowley, to speak about why the ICC had chosen Governor Mitt Romney as its new official mascot, and why he had chosen “crickets” as his official victory party anthem.

While this has nothing to do with the sound of crickets as his official victory anthem per se, it’s the best we could secure on such short notice. Read the full story

By President Barack Obama

My fellow Americans,

Next Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day, and this year your vote is more important than ever before. That’s because in this election you have a choice between two very different visions for America.

One of those visions believes that ours is a country where everyone should have a fair shot at success and where everyone should pay their fair share of taxes. Read the full story